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If Mom does assign you, just call the lawyer and refuse the assignment. Actually, there is really nothing with Medical. Its not in effect unless the person is considered incompetent to make decisions. All you do is make sure Doctors and Nurses are aware of the directive, gives u the ability to talk to Doctors and Nurses, and you make decisions not covered in the directive.
Whoever Mom makes her Financial POA should also be her Medical POA. You just tell her u do not want Medical POA. Ends that argument right there.
Being a POA, MPOA, whatever, is a difficult job in most cases. Being a joint POA or MPOA is even worse because you have to agree with the other person(s) on everything. The danger here is that you tell mom you don't want those jobs, but somehow you end up sharing them with your brother. Don't do that!
Don't allow her to abuse you verbally any more. This change in you will likely make you her unfavorite person of all time (unless you already are). People like her always need someone to abuse - it's how they are wired.
If you're not around, she'll find someone else to dominate with her anger. So if I were you, I'd stay away. Like forever. And there's no reason to feel guilty about that. Some people are toxic, and you have the right to protect yourself from them.
Looking back, I am glad that she didn’t baby me because I learned to take care of myself. Still, every kid notices when parents play favorites. My dad didn’t treat me like I was less than my brothers, nor did my grandparents or aunts and uncles.
If my mom was confronted by anyone about her treatment of me, she always denied it and said that she treated all of her children the same. My aunt, her sister would occasionally say something to her and she became offended instead of owning her behavior.
Yeah, whatever…became my response, because we don’t have the power to change how people perceive things or how they behave.
You are free to make your own decisions in life. I recommend that you choose whatever brings you peace. Life is too short to be miserable.
By the way, you’re not responsible for your mother’s misery. If she doesn’t accept your decisions gracefully, oh well…
Then, do it.
You don’t have to be hostage to abuse.
You deserve better!
Why in the WORLD would you EVER consider being POA for such an ungrateful woman.
You can, yes, refuse to be POA. Once you take on the duty it is necessary to resign, but if you never performed it you can simply refuse.
Let her make the brother her POA and STAY AWAY FROM HER.
In fact, my advice to you is to move 1,000 miles away from her, and send an occasional lovely card.
Sorry to hear about your loss. It is very heartwarming to hear about your close relationship with your brother. Your advice is very helpful. I will let someone else be her POA so that I can have piece of mind.
Thank you for the good advice.