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When my mother's MoCA score was 18, she lived in Assisted Living and was already losing pills and fouling up her meds to the point I had to get her on the med management program. And she was incontinent and being showered 2x a week by aides. She was in Memory Care by the time her score was down to 14.
Best of luck.
Your mother has Dementia and as such should not be in her own. So if she is in independent living, she needs to be in an AL.
Once one reaches an "assisted living" type of stage, that can be the level where leaving alone is no longer safe, or it could be as others are saying even "memory care" level. Where exactly people fit in depends to some degree on each facility and what they can handle at each level.
Yes, she needs a higher level of care like AL or MC. The "blame game" is just her increasing inability to use reason and logic and empathy anymore because dementia is robbing her of these skills. Also, memory impairment plus paranoia causes those with dementia to grasp at straws to explain things that happen to them.
I remember back when my Dad lived in Independent Living at a senior facility, and the Staff started to notice he was having memory problems, after testing first for a Urinary Tract Infection which can mimic dementia. Thus, the Staff called me in for a meeting to discuss moving my Dad to their Memory Care section, to which I agreed.
The move was easy for my Dad as he didn't mind moving from his nice apartment into a studio apartment in Memory Care. I told him it was cheaper (a therapeutic fib). I made sure his bedroom furniture was set up the same position that he had, that way when he awoke at night, everything was the same.
Ask the GF to let the suggestions, especially the tough ones, come from you. Better yet let the doctor be the heavy. Perhaps you could ask the doctor to put something in writing you could copy, frame and hang on the wall for mom to refer to. Whatever makes it easier for both you and GF to be innocent from the doctors decision.
Learn therapeutic fibs to help mom accept. “For now we must follow docs orders. Doc will see how you do on the next test”.
How was she leaving by herself in the past? Going for a walk? Driving? With a group?
Take her a milkshake and give her a hug. These life passages are difficult for us all.