By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Call the County Area of Aging TODAY for the county your mother lives in . Tell them you are burned out and you need to go back to your own home and your mother lives alone and she can’t . Ask them to please send out a social worker to the home to assist with placement . This is how I got my mother out of her home.
DO IT !!
If this doesn’t work then leave the home and call APS.
This may sound drastic but life is messy and tragic at times. Rip the bandaid off fast , get it done . Dementia is an awful disease . It has tentacles that strangle the caregiver. You are burned out , get Mom placed.
Please go to your Mother's Doctor & tell him/her you cannot cope.
'
Not everyone is a caregiver. I wasn't. I placed my Mom in a nice AL and later when the money ran out, a nice LTC with Medicaid paying. Denentia is hard to understand and to deal with. Its so unpredictable and the person has no idea they have it. So, they forget they are old and can't do anymore. They try to drive because they think they can. You telling them why they can't literally goes in one ear and out the other. They can forget what u say in a minute.
You may need to make the decision to place Mom.
You are clearly over your head in dealing with her, time to move on, regain your life.
Is she?
We have so very many posts about the car dilemma. I know you are often here and will have read them. There seems no really good answer other than reporting in person to DMV. Sadly, in most cases this isn't stopping seniors. We ourselves have half the time been at war with one another over just who is responsible for these lethal weapons that incompetent drivers are on our roads, and what is to be done about it.
I still don't know if you are staying with mom or going, if you are going to be guardian or POA or what rights you actually have to intervene. Me, I am trying to get that car out of there. But not at the risk of her calling the cops and saying I stole it.
Wish I had an answer. But like most of your issues with your mom, other than placement and your moving away about 1,000 miles distant, I just don't have an answer.
Surrendering driving is often very emotional and profound -- and difficult for the family that is managing this. Spend some extra time with her to help her get over the hump, take her anywhere she wants to go, ask other family, friends, neighbors to take her on errands for a while. Is your Mom on anything for anxiety? If not, maybe consider speaking with her doctor about this option.
I will assume Mom is in her home. I will assume Dementia is present. As such, she should not be driving her car or living alone. If you have POA sell the car. Out of site, out of mind. If not, park it at your house, if u have one, or ask a friend to keep it for you. You need to get it out of her sight. Then when she asks where it is, tell her its in the shop for a tune up. Everytime she asks, its still being worked on.
Our neighbor had her Mom, suffered from ALZ, living with her and her Moms car sitting at the top of their driveway. They told her she was too old to drive. Her response "I know lots of old women who drive". I told them, get rid of the car. They did.
If your Mom has Dementia it will worsen. She can no longer make informed decisions about her life. You now have to make those decisions. You sort of become the adult and her the child. You will also become the badguy. Its what it is.
But anyways Roger, your mom has dementia, ya gotta stick up for her, if not for you do it for her.
You wouldnt just let a 3 yr old run in the road. Your mom can't make those choices. Of weather or not to drive, and hoarding
I'll tell ya what I told my army brother, "Grow a Pair" probably why he won't talk to me. 😂