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If I were in your situation, I would remain totally silent as your response to their absurd accusations, and if at all possible, you could request the Pastor to contact them and explain the reason for his or her suggestion to your mom.
Hoping you have a very VERY SMALL FAMILY if they’re all as unhelpful as the group who has harassed you.
I lost an otherwise valuable year of my life because of the assault on me from a very damaged relative, and I feel very comfortable telling you NOT to be hurt by comments that are not only not true but are in fact, total nonsense, because I’ve learned by bitter experience that one should never expect anything from a pig but a grunt.
Ann said what needed to be said about hospice, I’ll just add that they will also comfort and support YOU along with your mother who has requested their services.
Years ago my SIL's sister was dying of lung cancer. It had spread into her spine and no pain killers were very effective anymore. Her daughter (a RN) came over one afternoon after her shift and found her mother curled into a tight ball screaming from pain even though she had taken a full dose of pain medications about 60 minutes earlier, including a shot of morphine. The daughter called for an ambulance and directed the hospital to control her pain, even if it caused unconsciousness and/or sped the death process. Many of her aunts and uncles (her mother's siblings) accused her of killing her mother. Many came to their senses after her death but a few have never spoken to the daughter again.
If we honest, most of us fear what we may endure before death much more than dying. I am my mother's HCPOA and Mom has directed she does not want to suffer pain either. I will be endorsing her choices just like you are. I hope my family doesn't put me through the additional stresses you family is inflicting but even if they do, I am going to support Mom's choices.
I will pray you and your mother experience God's comfort during this very difficult time and your family members come to their senses and support you.
https://www.geripal.org/2010/08/palliative-care-prolongs-life.html
It is neither murder nor suicide to prioritize comfort over cures.
Hospice is not suicide nor is it murder. It is a gracious, loving way to give someone and honorable and hopefully peaceful death.
This concept of 'life at any cost' is ridiculous and you know it. So sad to have to deal with relatives who don't understand. Let them spend a day with an aging LO who needs to be kept comfortable and pain free....they'll likely change their tune.
You do what you know your mother wants. If she is still lucid enough to make the decision for Hospice, then she can voice this to the relatives, through a phone call or letter.
It's HER choice, not theirs.
And take care of yourself also, while helping mom through this last phase of life. It's more emotionally tasking than you can imagine--but you are doing the right thing.
Ask hospice if they have any brochures about their services that you can send to your siblings or if they have someone that can call and explain that you have to have a death diagnosis and less than 6 months to live and how painful end stage cancer is. They need to hear from someone else that your mom is dying and this is the most precious gift that she can receive, death without excruciating pain and anxiety.
May The Lord grant you grieving mercies and comfort during this difficult time.