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My mom was refusing 24 care at home, so that is why we needed to put her in skilled nursing. There is some piece of mind that she has 24 hours care, but she never wanted to go into one of these facilities. Unfortunately, she has been her own worst enemy by not doing the physical therapy and refusing the care she needed at home.
My mom has fairly complicated finances, so that is the main reason I agreed to the guardianship. My brother showed me all my mom's records one time about a year ago. He is very organized, and I believe he is mostly being honest with her affairs. He does not like to be questioned about anything, and that is when he gets verbally abusive with me. He is also having his girlfriend be the realtor when we sell my mom's house. The attorney said that was a conflict of interest. She advised to pick my battles though and not do anything at this point given my brother's personality.
Why did you agree to have brother be guardian? It sounds like you could have predicted his behavior based on past experience.
As a loving brother, he should have allowed you to pick over the things he was discarding, in case any of it was meaningful to you. As her guardian, he has no obligation to do so.
He is under no obligation to show you the appraisal for jewelry, or any other financial records. He is in control of her entire estate.
He is in charge of decisions about her healthcare, including who can see her records.
You say that your mom is not completely incompetent. But apparently the court decided she was incompetent, or a guardian would not be appointed. Again, I'm wondering why you signed off on this guardianship if you didn't feel she needed a guardian and that brother would play power games. Did anyone explain the legal implications of him being her guardian?
As her guardian, Brother will have to do a full accounting of how he has managed her finances. If you have any evidence that he his spending her money on himself, consult an attorney specializing in Elder Law to learn your options. If you think your mother is competent enough to not need a guardian, bring that concern to a lawyer, too.
I'm really sorry that you are in this fairly common situation with family conflict over guardianship.
After mom passes away, you inherit your portion of the estate. I’m assuming it’s just you and him in the will.
Go see a lawyer though.