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When my Mom was in her 90's she would ask to go home to visit her parents. I had to quickly think of something to say that my Mom may possibly understand. I would tell her that her parents were visiting the old country, and Mom was happy with that.
As for the bathroom, I like babsjvd's idea where taking the person to the bathroom every two hours. Even if your Mom feels she doesn't have to use the bathroom, turn on the water in the sink, once she is seated on the toilet. For some reason the sound of running water will do the trick. It does for me, I would be washing something in the kitchen sink and the next thing I am making a mad dash to the bathroom.
I had the same issue with my mother, and it wasn't her fault -- it was what it was. The second you started to pull her pants down, the flood started.
Her memory care put her in diapers and told her to just go when she needed. She was nonetheless on a two-hour toileting schedule where they'd take her to the bathroom and change the diaper while she was on the toilet. Most of the time she went in the toilet, but if she didn't, the diaper had caught it all. The floods ceased to be an issue, and I'm sure they put an extra pad in her diaper at night because they weren't getting her up then.
All your other question...the answer is Yes. Just like the shortterm memory goes so does longterm. So the home she is talking about could be her childhood home or the first home she ever had. My Mom lost her ability to read and do crosswords. She never liked games or puzzles so no teaching her once she had Dementia.
She could not see The grab bars
So I ended up getting the bars that you can swing up out of the way attached to the wall they're different sizes and I got the larger size so it protrudes a little bit further than the toilet. But she still has difficulty reaching for the other or she'll grab the towel rack which is a safe grab bar also but it's been difficult trying to get her to sit down before peeing in her pants. And I do get her up to three times during the day and each time is as difficult as the first
Put washable pads underneath her in bed and in her chair.
would she wear a gown instead of pants?
depends with tabs instead of pull up ???
At this point, many people decide that their loved one needs to go to a facility where professionals can take care of them. You should start looking at such places now, because this won't get better. So sorry!