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My Mom died at 89, at least 6 of those years with Dementia and the last two she declined fast. She went thru the whole actively dying thing for two weeks. Like Lea, I thanked God for finally taking her home.
Unless nursing staff see it often or have an intuition that something is wrong in the early stages, it is often missed until too late. Sepsis has a high mortality rate.. it is not your fault.
The best doctors and the best nurses miss sepsis before it is too late often enough. Sometimes it is so sneaky as to seem the person is getting better with lower pressure and lower temps, and them boom, way TOO low.
My own brother passed of sepsis. He has a small sore on his shin he treated with antibiotic ointment and didn't really bother a soul about it. Then thought he had the flu. Then into hospital with sepsis and resistant to antibiotic treatment, and gone. He came home on hospice. He had early Lewy's and he hoped with all his heart it would pass before it robbed him of his reasoning. That's what happened. I am happy for him to this day.
Do not blame yourself for this one. There is nothing more common, esp for women, than UTIs, and to sepsis, I would challenge anyone to diagnosis it quickly, and find a good treatment for it. I am sorry for this decline, and loss if loss there has been.
If she is in decline still, was she hospitalized? Sometimes elders get something called hospital delirium because their routine is completely unended or they are reacting to the antibiotics, or are not keeping their IVs in, or eating enough. Again... none of which is your fault or very easy to recognize or control.
If you are implying that your Mom has actually passed away... my sincerely condolences to you. May you receive comfort and peace in your heart.
No, it was not your fault at all that you lost your dear mom. I too lost my mom who had dementia and I rejoiced on the day she passed at 95. I thanked God for taking her Home after such a long and misersble battle, and that she was finally free of pain, suffering and confusion.
Please be relieved your mom is free now too. Not that you don't miss her, but you had no part in her decline. Please know that. My condolences on your loss.
Perhaps I misinterpreted that.
The fact that your mom is 94 and in poor health is the reason for her decline. Period. End of sentence.
Your mom knows you're doing the very best you can and that you love her, and she would NOT want you feeling bad over anything.
My late husband developed sepsis and septic shock after he almost died of aspiration pneumonia in 2018, and he lived for 22 more months until he died in 2020.
So I will say just enjoy whatever time you may have left with your mom and leave the guilt in the trash where it belongs.
But the fact is your mom was old.
I had to drop my dad off at the hospital, right during lock down. It was so horrible, do you know how many times the what iffs went through my head. To have to just leave someone at the hospital walk away and not know what happened after.
Be kinder to yourself, your not responsible, you did the best you could do.
So sorry about your mom