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Read what daughterof1930 said. She is correct..
I hope one day. We hope to have someone like myself, you, daughterof1930 give, attend to just like we did when and if we get to that point..
I simply say this to myself.. She (my mom) took care of me when I couldn't.. now I take care of her when she can't..
I had to get passed the thought of having to see her and clean her but... thats my mom. I got passed that. You will too but it won't be easy but it can be done. I'm a testament to that.
Im her son.
Many times I asked her, "Do you mind that I do this?" Her response was "No." She was always an independent woman, and I suspect it did bother her somewhat. What made things much easier was having a portable commode in the bedroom, with some pads placed underneath in case there was an accident. Clean pads and sheets on her bed daily. Exhausting work, but worth it knowing she was as clean as possible every day. She lived to age 93, and I am content knowing I did my best for her.
I agree with others, that she took care of me when I could not take care of myself. I realize she only trusts her personal care to me, for that I feel honored.
I also have private aides for a few hours who change her diaper and the hospice nurse and aide come by twice a week. It did take me a long time to accept that hiring aides was now imperative and it was money well- spent to get my life back and not get sucked into the cycle of bitterness, anger and sorrow.
Good luck to you - this forum has been a lifesaver for me
I'll tell you the truth about getting used to a person crapping in a diaper.
You never really get used to it. I was an in-home caregiver (mostly to elderly) for 25 years and have cleaned more ancient can then I can even remember. What does happen when you've been doing it for a while is it's just gross but not shocking anymore.
You just clean them and it up. I always wore gloves, a plastic apron, and a mask. You're lucky if you aren't the person who has to change and clean her.
Take her to the doctor though because to go from living an independent life to being bedbound and in a diaper within a month's time means there's something wrong.
Be aware of making (incorrectly) "you" statements.
You do not know who will / can do what. What you are speaking about is your experience. Please use "I" statements.
A child wears diapers.
Changing how you think of these words shows respect to your wife.