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However, if you feel slighted why not discuss it. Why not tell her "Mom we would love to have you out here with us, sharing programs and meals and time talking together. If you would love it, as well, just know you are welcome any old time. If not, and you would rather have your own time alone, we understand. We want you to know you are free to do whatever makes you happiest. But we are always here, and would love your company."
Not much else to be said, I think.
And yes, I have a grandson I seldom get to see, and I surely can understand putting off my meaningless habits for him when he visits.
I'm on this forum to seek help in coping with a difficult, grief-filled situation. Having anyone tell me they honestly don't understand what my problem with her behavior is...well, not helpful.
I know you are a prolific contributor to this forum and I know you probably help hundreds of people but please remember that some of us truly don't know what to do or how to feel. Be gentle with us "less-experienced" folks.
Thank you.
My mom acts one way with one person, a totally different way with someone else. I have a couple of ladies in my neighborhood who know mom from the Sr Center. It was 12 YEARS before they put together that she was my mother. She never, literally never talked about me to them, and for at least the first 7 years 'knew' that their neighborhood was also mine and that I saw these ladies 2-3 times a week.
Still SMH about this, and many other oddities.
It goes with the territory. My DH aunt had an event in her home that caused her to need to evacuate. I was dreading telling her that she had to go by ambulance to an ALF while the home was being repaired. She’s 95, on hospice and Bedfast. She acts like she got a get out of jail free card. She can’t say enough good things about the place. She is a poster child for them. Who knew? Now I am trying to figure out how to stretch her funds so she can stay there, afraid a more affordable place wouldn’t be as appreciated.
In your moms case I would be happy that she feels comfortable to do as she pleases and enjoy your free time. One thing about the declining and dementia, it progresses. Whatever it is today will change.
Count your blessings and see if the son can come around more often.
I saw similar situations with other patients too.
So, yes, a change of routine does sometimes make a difference. Be happy for it, AD.
You know what, though. If your mother was in your space every day of the year, never absent from the dinner table, expecting you to take her on outings, sitting in your living room through the long evenings... you'd soon be wishing she liked her own company better.
How long has she been living with you?