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The impression I get, and yes its one sided, this mother has been ill for a while and needed to use her children as her caregivers. She may have never gotten guardianship. May not have even realized she needed to. Children with challenges do not mature if you don't help them mature. Also, children with challenges are usually behind maturity wise in yrs. If no one reported a problem with this family, there would not be a guardian in place.
I keep asking the question if Miku is getting help for her and her brother. No answer. I told her she needed to tell APS she needed help. No answer. This mother had to be pretty bad off for APS to take her from the home. At this point, I hope that APS is helping these two or some government agency.
I have a disabled nephew I oversee and it took a while to set up him up with the help he needed to be independent.
Really, there’s no way a guardian would leave them alone in the house. And there’s no way, even though the Mom was recently placed, they wouldn’t have already organized a guardian.
There is even such a thing as immediate, emergency guardianship.
Conclusion: OP must be legally competent. She has no NEED for a guardian.
It’s not possible for us on the forum to know the truth about the details. But I bet I’m right: the reality is she doesn’t need a guardian.
This might not be you, but then again, it might be you: I know people who are fully capable of getting a job, since they’re fully capable of concentrating for hours on video games, but they don’t want to work. They want to play video games.
I’ll add my views:
It’s totally possible OP was helping out. But she wasn’t a…“caregiver”…She herself needs a caregiver.
Moreover, really (??), OP was a caregiver to her Mom, and didn’t know until after Mom was placed, that Mom’s been diagnosed with dementia? Then OP wasn’t doing a good job being a caregiver; OP wasn’t even aware why her Mom was able to be forced into a resting home (it’s because she has dementia).
The story doesn’t make sense.
It’s possible OP can’t function on her own. But I repeat, if she’s truly incapable, someone would be her guardian, but she has no guardian. AND…if she has a guardian, the guardian would never irresponsibly let her and her brother live alone in Mom’s house.
Really (??) OP, people placed your Mom, responsibly taking care of her, but completely irresponsibly left you and your brother in the house alone, now ALREADY for days and days? Not possible.
It must be that you’re legally competent. A legally capable adult. It’s possible to have a disability and still be a legally capable adult. I say legally, because it’s a question of law: either you’re legally capable or not. If you’re legally capable, you’re responsible for what you do, including doing all you can to get a job, and not taking advantage of living in your Mom’s house.
If no one has guardianship over you, you're actually a capable adult!...A capable adult, taking advantage of your Mom.
AND....!
The people who placed your Mom in the resting home, would not have left you and your brother without simultaneously, taking care of guardianship over you two, not just taking care of your Mom's future.
My guess is you're - actually - a capable adult.
This person is not a capable adult. My guess is there is probably some type of state conservator appointed who administers whatever money they get (SSI, or inheritance, whatever) to pay their expenses and housing then allows them a portion to spend themselves.
It will not allow Mikurotoro and her autistic brother to remain in the mother's house while she lives in nursing home because the property is real estate and an asset that can be liquidated into cash for her care.
Their social workers and conservators will find them housing.
I don't doubt that the mother is very ill and she probably had a lot on her plate providing and caring for with both of her special needs kids. The state will do it now.
The dementia diagnosis came before going to the rest home and that is what CAUSED her to go to a rest home in the first place
Your goals and intentions seem conflicted to me. Who's interests do you truly have at heart here?
If mom's, then obviously you go visit her frequently and act as her loving daughter and healthcare advocate, leaving revealing clothing at home along with the chip on your shoulder.
If it's your own best interests you're serving here, why are you asking this question? Perhaps you are feeling conflicted yourself and could use guidance, I don't know.
I will have to stand with BurntCGs response in hoping the court appoints a good social worker to be your conservator/guardian.
In an effort to get "untethered" from mom, it sounds like you've left yourself and your brother in an unmanageable position, alone to fend for yourselves now.
Being able to wear revealing clothing does not make you an adult, I'm sorry to say. There's so much more involved with the job, it's absurd! What's your plan to find out about real life moving forward?
I wish you Godspeed and good luck, and to your dear mom for all she's going through which I'm not sure you realize.
if your mother was forced into a nursing home, you would have been told way before today already, that she was diagnosed with dementia. if she herself decided to go to a nursing home, you still would have been told before today of this diagnosis.
you are 29. your mother is around 60? dementia is unlikely.
as far as i understand, she is private-pay (not medicaid) in a nursing home. you're living in her home. it's up to her, if she still wants you and your brother living there. as someone else pointed out, it might not be possible for you two to live safely alone in her house.
Are you still working with Cathy to continue to improve your life? What happens with the house? Do you still live there?
How are the job applications coming along?
More likely mother was the legal guardian for her two adult children. Not the other way around.
i’m re-posting what i wrote:
if i understood correctly, you're living in her home, while she's now in a nursing home. it doesn't sound fair that you're in her home -- unless she really doesn't mind. my guess is she's not happy about this situation.
——
to be clear, i’m talking about:
mom’s happiness about you living in her home.
I think Zippy is wrong. You don't want to upset Mom so when u visit wear the appropriate clothes. When on ur own u can do what you want.
I agree that you visit Mom at different times of the day. You just observe if she is clean and seems to be well cared for. Don't expect her care to be like u would do. If she gets nasty, its ok to say goodbye. You can set boundries.
I so hope u guys have someone to talk to. Good Luck.
Are you still living in her house and does she still provide for you?
That stops too if she stays in managed care.
A while back you were planning on getting a job at Taco Bell. How's that working out for you? You do know no one can live on minimum wage in the United States.
Medicaid is not going to evict her before her mother dies.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/creating-a-contingency-plan-for-my-mom-where-do-i-start-478238.htm?orderby=recent&page=1�
So glad you and your brother will be able to get your lives started as your mom is being taken care of at the facility.
She can no longer control me!
Your behavior is disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Have you taken any responsibility for yourself yet or is mommy still paying all the bills and supporting you?
Just for the hell of it, wear the skimpiest halter top and the shortest shorts possible when you make these visits. Show don't tell that you're in control of your life.