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You may have to do what I had to do with my late husband and that is throw away all her old underwear and replace them with her pretty new underwear(Depends).
And don't worry, she'll get used to them when that is all she has to wear.
What I do for my mother:
She wears Always Discreet Pullup Underwear - they're soft and come in pink if that helps.
Inside of the Pullup she wears Tena Sensitive overnight pad or Tena Sensitive Ultimate. They feel like cotton - very soft.
I change her pullup every morning and the pad every morning and evening unless it's soiled.
I use baby wipes from Walmart to clean her after every bathroom visit.
I use gloves 100% of the time because to me, pee and poop especially are bio hazards - even if it is my mother. Gloves also protect my mother from anything on my hands that could transfer to her.
She has had nary a problem - no UTI's or other issues.
another option (if it is a viable one) would be to use an incontinent absorbent pad rather than a full pull up brief. This might work if it is urinary incontinence but probably won't if it is fecal incontinence.
There are also washable absorbent underwear. some are more designed for light leaks others are more absorbent.
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