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Good luck!
Please don't continue to take her abuse. You deserve so much better.
I spent $$$$$ doing a garage conversion to allow 500 sq ft of space for her and dad. She has this “special” cynical laughter which is what I get if I ask her about food, comfort, personal needs.
I had to hire a caregiver because it’s two- both mom and dad (both 94).
there are no siblings since my sis passed 1 1/2 yrs ago(by the way, they didn’t come to the funeral), no family members to help. My niece and nephews are lined up waiting to get the inheritance before their death and never come by .
I have a ball and chain tied to the house, unable to leave them alone for any given time because they wander off. They are horrible to my little dog, mean to the core to the caregiver and just hateful 24/7.
Guilt? I can write the book on guilt.
I started reading a book “Boundaries” recently. I read at 2:00 am when I wake up drenched in sweat (not because of menopause) because of anxiety.
I feel for you. I’m sending you lots of good wishes and a mental hug. I sincerely hope you find strength to make necessary changes to make yourself happy. I’m a weak person and can’t find the way out.
Who said you're a "weak person" who "can't find the way out"? Because neither of those things are true!
You aren't weak; you're hurt. And have every right to be. You've gone the extra mile and then some, and still your parents are unappreciative and ungrateful. You know they won't change. You know the way out... to have them placed and take your life back once and for all. It's just a hard, scary step to take. But you have to... these people have had enough time ruining your life. You're done.
Whatever you do, keep your dog away from them! They sound heartless enough to truly hurt or kill it.
With that... they are under your roof. And your roof = your rules. Your home is to be respected. Your rules include being polite to caregivers and NOT harming, or trying to harm, your pet in any way, shape, or form. If they can't stick to that, it's time for them to go. There's a lot of advice on here about getting parents on Medicaid and getting them placed.
If they're constantly wandering, you have no other option but to place them. Eventually they will be hurt, get lost, or fall in the street.
You sound so broken. It's not your fault! You have evil people for parents and nothing you do will fix it. They will never appreciate you. It's their loss and their problem. If you are hoping they'll finally love you after doing all you've done for them... they won't. You deserve better than that.
If they pull the "you're supposed to take care of us" card, tell them you've TRIED to care for them, spent money on them, and they're not happy. You can't do anything more for them, so they need to pick another place. The blame is on them.
Guilt is warranted when YOU have done wrong. You haven't.
You love your mother, you just don't like "her ways."
YAY, YOU. CHEEEEERS : )
You still love your mother regardless of her being mean. Good for you. Most people can't understand that.
You say your mother acts miserable and has mentioned 4 times that she wants to go back to GA. It could be that she is not happy in TX.
If her wish is to go back to GA, honor her wishes.
Be Blessed : )
Was there a medical reason?
Was this to make it "easy" for you to manage her appointments and other things? If so there are Care Managers that can do this for you and for her since she would be paying for the service.
If you are avoiding her then she might as well be back in GA.
If this is what she wants and if this is what you want then help her find a place that is suitable in GA for her.
Look for Assisted Living facilities that also have Memory Care. There is a possibility that with the Parkinson's she may eventually be diagnosed with LBD (Lewy Body Disease, another form of Dementia.) One of the symptoms of LBD can be outbursts and violence.
But as long as she would be safe where she ends up then it would be a "win-win" she would be back in GA and you would not have contact with her.