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My husband is just the most unhandy man I’ve ever seen and butchers something in the yard regularly. I thought that was just him.
But with your dad being 92 years old you might have to move whoever is worse to a ALF. Or hire someone to stay with both of them while you’re gone from home.
My dad lives at my parents home and my mom lives at ALF. He’s active and is keeping things going. Mom is in fragile shape. Since dad was clueless about caregiving, mom needed more help.
I know the situation will change, I don’t know when but I’m watching my dad closely. It’s one day at a time.
I know this is premature but I would apply for Medicaid for him now. That will save you the trouble later when he may need to be placed in a facility (if that's part of your long term plan).
Are there any family, close friends or church members that can come over during your work hours, to "oversee" what's going on? Could you afford a "sitter" disguised as a housekeeper?
Any way you could work from home?
Have you applied for any services he could receive from the government to lighten your financial load?
Is he a vet? Would he qualify for any services through VA?
Does he have Medicare, Social Security or disability? If not, he may be able to apply with the diagnosis of Alzheimer's.
Have you read up on the different stages of Alzheimer's? It's progressive. Do you have a long term plan in place?
I'm sorry your flowers are ruined but things could have been a lot worse with the hedge trimmer and confusion. I'm sure your father will understand that it isn't a malicious act.
You will need to find help to supervise him as his dementia worsens. Your father can not be factored in this equation.
I'm so sorry. I'm sure this isn't how you envisioned your life to be.