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Get a urine sample and labs to check for UTI.
If you are saying his behavior has suddenly become markedly worse, please consider he might have a UTI, which can definitely amplify dementia symptoms, causing more confusion and agitation, etc.
Your profile says your are an RN. Please take him to Urgent Care or the ER to get him checked for a UTI.
Also, does he have a PoA assigned? One of his adult children? Or you? Because if he doesn't, once he gets an official medical diagnosis he may not be able to assign a PoA anymore.
And, he doesn't need to go to a neurologist to get a diagnosis of cognitive/memory impairment... you can start with his primary doc who you may be able to see sooner than January 2025. From there if the doc suspects the symptoms may be due to something else, there will be testing. If there is a reason to suspect something going on in his brain (tumor, etc) then this is where the neurologist comes into play -- or to pinpoint what type of dementia your husband has, if this is something that matters.
I wish you all the best as you navigate the situation.
Your husband is out of control. He represents a danger now to himself, to you, and WORSE to innocent drivers in the streets.
It is first for you to go to a good elder law attorney for division of assets so that your own funds are separated as well as you can, preserving them for your own future care.
Then hubby needs to be put in care.
If he is not diagnosed that is step one. Call the MD tomorrow. Arrange for a Neuro-psyc consult, and arrange to put yourself in charge of your husband whether as POA or guardian or next of kin.
I am so sorry.
This is no longer safe.
If you have to call APS then do so. They will explain to husband that they are taking the keys to the car until things can be settled here. They can help you with other guidance as well.
You're going to have to get a lot tougher with your husband or it will be you or some innocent child/adult that gets killed because your husband didn't see them or got confused while behind the wheel.
Would you be able to live with yourself if that were to happen? I know that I sure couldn't.
Someone driving with dementia is like someone driving drunk or high on drugs. It's not something to mess around with. And I don't care how upset your husband will get when he can't drive anymore, you have to do what is right and best for all involved.
Nothing raises my blood pressure quicker than hearing about someone letting their loved one continue driving when they know darn well that they shouldn't be.
So toughen up girlfriend, put your big girl panties on and take the damn keys away!!!
Take his keys when you get home and hide them.
Un attach a battery cable on the car.
You cannot let him drive. Do something.