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I was doing everything for him and then I decided I am letting this AD take over his mind. So I started in teaching him to do it himself. I would be feeding him by now, dressing him, and what ever else. I was even shaving him but now he does it. Even if he eats like a child which sometimes he does, when I say use your fork he will pick it up. Sometimes he doesn't even know what a fork is so I put it in his hand.
Everyone is different with this disease. Help them to remember how to do what they have done every day for their whole life.
I have seen how they take care of people in homes. They bring the food and drop it on their tray then later someone comes back and feeds it to them cold. I sat there and watched that. It will not happen to my husband. I will keep him as long as I can. Even untill he dies.
I don't know your situation or the stage of dementia, but I do know what my mother is going through and I'm an only child trying to help her while also dealing with my step-dad who does not really understand what is going on. She's at the stage where something like this will come up, but if calmly distracted in another direction moves right along without coming back to it. When she gets it in her head that she's going to yard sells, I don't argue. I just listen and realize that this too will pass and it does. What gets me is when friends from her garden club come in to visit and tell her its time to get out of that bed and go to yard sells for they must be totally blind to the physcial as well as mental state she is in that makes that impossible as well as unsafe. Please take good care of yourself in your care taking.
I don't know what to do at times. I have called 911 one time they seemed so nasty I hate to call them. Another time when I took him to the hospital when his BP was high they said they don't bring the BP down fast anymore because it could cause him to have a stroke - heart attack. They said that is the new rule.
I was up until after 5am watching him. I had to take a sleeping pill just to relax. That gave me five hours sleep. But soon woke up to him calling me. He wanted to eat. Called it everything but food. You learn to pick up on what they are talking about even tho he is not saying the right words. Just like you would a child.
I am so tired all the time. Call it being depressed or just up tight I am not really sure anymore. He is starting to not want to take his pills. He spit them out last night. I feel like I would like to find a hole some place and get in it. But I have to stick with it. I don't want to feel guilty after he is gone. Say a prayer for me today. God bless!
It is all very hard, Reba. No wonder you are tired. I'm glad you can talk it out here. I hope you have others who you can talk with. Obviously, some relief help would be good, but I know that is easier to say than to get.
Take care of yourself, or what would happen to him?
Carol
Don't Cry So Hard For Me
please don't cry so hard for me,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the things,
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
for I love you that much too,
please try to understand,
it wasn't ment to be.
oh how I hated to leave you,
but I know you'd understand,
that I'd have to leave behind,
the best mom I could find.
so think of all the good times,
and how much you mean to me,
I know that I will miss you,
I know you'll miss me too,
don't remember how I was,
the last time you saw me,
for I am no longer hurting,
I'm as happy as can be.
when Jesus reached out his hand to me,
and said its time to go,
he said my home was ready,
where I'd find peace, love, and joy.
when I walked through heaven's gates,
I knew that I was home,
so when you think of me,
please know that I am free.
please don't cry so hard for me,
for we're not far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right there in your heart.
God bless you!
Yes you can do that.
Don't grieve for me ,for now i'm free
I am following the path,god laid for me
I took his hand when i heard him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh to love, to work and play
Tasks left undone must stay that way
I found that place at the close of day.
If my parting has left avoid,
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh. a kiss
Ah yes these things, i too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish for you the sunshine of tomorrow
My life's been full, I've savored much
Good friend,good times,a loved one's touch
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
Don't cry for me God wanted me now
He set me free,
i also wrote one for my mother when she passed i have shared with quite of few people i hope you like this one.
Our Mother Our Friend
Now that everthing is calming down, you have
told us once ,twice you were tired, and you wanted,
to lay down,
The life you have giving us was so full,like summer
winter and fall ooh but wait..... Thats not all.
We can not express enough on how much love you
gave us. The cooking and sewing and that's not all.
You made sure we did not go without no matter how
small, the troublesome we gave you, you didn't care
at all. Grand-children and great grand was not a
challenge to you we kept on bringing them and you love
them the same too.
Now things are calming down, you "ve said once to
us all, the famous four words but you added to your
call. Ma we were selfish we wanted you to stay
You turned to us with your beautiful smile ,with'
those famous four words you say " i don't think so"
don't you cry and don't be sad. I left you a part of
me I left you Dad So go on my children and live your
life
My life is done here, I love you all and......I'm alr
i hope you like my poem i love the one i wrote for my mom i wrote one for dad but my family wouldn't let me read it...