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On the other post Margaret, I think, explained how Hospice works in other countries. Remember, Margaret is from Australia.
"Eileen, you say you “live in Europe... not everyone lives in USA . Our hospice offers respite and pain management too”. I don’t live in the USA, but in Australia, and we don’t use the term ‘hospice’ at all. Our ‘palliative care’ is much the same as hospice, it’s for ‘end of life care’. It sounds as though your ‘hospice’ is much the same as a respite nursing home. It was originally in Europe the term for convent-run care for abandoned babies and dying elders. ‘Eileen’ is normally an Anglo/ Irish name.
If you join a website based in another country, you have to learn the terms. If you are indeed a RN (or whatever the local term is), you could /should have made your expectations to the local facility a lot clearer, and intervened a lot quicker."
When someone comes to the forum and states that hospice care is responsible for the death of a loved one - for many of us - it is a difficult pill to swallow - because hospice care is for the sole purpose of easing someone terminal into death. They are not the cause of death. They are there to ease the way.
Often - at least with the U.S. version of hospice - when someone says that hospice killed their loved one - it is because they had not come to terms with the fact that their family member was already actively dying. Hospice care removes all CURATIVE medications and only provides COMFORT medications. So the terminal illness is no longer treated. Which does hasten death - yes.
The other thing with end of life - and my mother and I were just literally talking about this today is how fast it seems to happen once it starts to happen. It seems to come out of nowhere and happen quickly once it starts to go downhill. Which - in my opinion - is a blessing. My father was very ill - and when hospice came in - he was given 6 months. He lived 2 weeks. Blessedly - he was not yet in any great pain and he died peacefully. Hospice was a great comfort to him and to our family.
I am truly sorry for your loss. And I do not mean to question or belittle - but I'm curious as to why hospice was necessary for medication management for an otherwise healthy person? And how you feel they starved him to death if he was healthy enough to eat? My father couldn't eat - he had no appetite -even when offered his favorite foods. He could still swallow as well. But he was actively dying - he was too sick to want to eat. Hospice - at least here - does not manage medication - at least not the curative kind. They only manage the comfort medications.
They are not there to get the patient well and send them home.
Nobody is being cheeky or hateful to you. If you post on a forum, you'll get comments. Some you'll like and some you won't. Very few will agree with you about being "starved to death" after eating breakfast or within 7 days of not being fed.
Why not take your issue up with an attorney who can guide you accordingly instead of a bunch of caregivers who have heard how "hospice killed my loved one" a thousand times before. Both of my parents died under hospice care, but their diseases killed them, not "hospice". Had I thought such a thing, I'd have fired hospice immediately and called an ambulance to take them to the hospital for treatment. That's always an option since hospice is not a prison sentence.
Again, my condolences on your loss.
an RGN with 20 years experience so I know my fdcts , there is no need to be cheeky and hateful to me at such a sensitive time . If you have nothing nice to say please say nothing , god bless you
The above was Eileen's first post to us.
Eileen, It was you who came to the Forum. You gave us no information in your post as regards your living in another country where Hospice is meant to be respite and pain control rather than end of life care (I never heard of such). If you wanted a swallow eval or if your father did or his proxy did that was for you to take up with the MDs. Your father had an not amputated necrotic toe, you tell us. He likely died of Sepsis and organ shut down more than an inability to swallow, because I have never heard of Hospice in any country who refuses food to someone who can and who wishes to eat.
We are all very sorry here, but you came to this Forum claiming that the Hospice purposely killed your father.
I don't believe that.
And if you come here you will get a variety of responses. You are free to accept what you like and kick the rest to the curb, but you will not stop our responding to you. If you don't wish response it is perhaps best not to post. If you wish responses then giving us the information we need by filling in your profile will be greatly appreciated.
We on Forum often get angry responses about Hospice. Often people in the initial stages of grief choose to blame others for death. That usually is doctors and nurses and hospitals and ecfs and rehabs and Hospices. I know you know that as an RN.
I wish you the very best. I wish you healing.
As I told you, I started nursing before we got Hospice from "across the pond". I witnessed death by shrieks and screams that I can still hear today. It was torment in my early career in Chicago. I thank all the powers that be for the wonder of good hospice care.
I only wish that corporate greed was not now invading Hospice care in the USA.
Please take care and get counseling help for your grieving if you feel it might help you.