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I've been estranged from the family . I wasn't notified that Dad was failing in health or even his passing. My adult children found out he passed by Googling his name one day recently. I am curious if there is a will. Knowing my Dad there is. And what it says. And if I am mentioned. If I am can they keep anything from me? I'm easy to find. Google my name and my homeschool immediately comes up complete with my email and phone number.
Back story. My father and I would talk periodically but regular communication never happened. The family owned a very lucrative company that suddenly went under and filed bankruptcy. It was a family corp .so the family paid out the debts. Either way ..if that wouldn't have happened I was to own part of all that as be requested by my grandfather . I was the only future heir that took interest in the business and had hands on. I got married and moved away. My spouse wasn't my mother's choice .Dad knew I was happy. Mom and Dad divorced and Dad is married 21 yrs to his wonderful lady . My siblings and myself are estranged. They are more like my mother. I really don't want to ask them concerning a will if there is any hope of reconnecting it will put a cloud over it . There was no attempt to contact me . I am easy to contact.
If there is a will and I'm not mentioned I would like to find out on my own rather than from them. If from them I'd probably want proof. Lol. My mother is no longer involved in his life or death as she shouldn't be .
I reached out to every number and email I could get until I connected on one and got a very calculated and unbrotherly response from my older brother.
I left my door open if he or my sister ever want to talk

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If there is a will, it will have an Executor. The Executor’s job is to settle the estate according to the will and to law. Even if it’s a sibling you don’t like, they will need to be business-like about it – and they may have it all done through a lawyer who won’t be involved in family politics at all.

Find out who is in charge, then ask them for details. Keep it ‘professional’. “Who is the Executor” is probably a lot easier than asking immediately about your own entitlements, and dealing with a bunch of people who you don’t like. One of your adult children could also do this, and they may find it easier to be cool and business-like about it.
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LakeErie Nov 26, 2023
Save everyone emotional trauma and just have your lawyer contact them. Otherwise they will never respond.
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Have you reached out to your stepmother, the woman your dad was currently married to?
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Margaret, my Mom did not probate my Dads Will, because he left her everything.,"Whats yours is mine".

Wills have to be probated if estates are over 20k in my state. Probate can't be done until about 10 days after death. The Executor is responsible to see that Will is filed. Then they get a "short certificate" giving them the ability to handle an estate.

Carolora,
Once the Will is filed, its public. You just call Probate and ask for a copy. There may be a small charge. Or, you may be able to go on-line and see it.

The Executor's job is to carry out what the Will says. He/she is to contact each beneficiary and tell them the Will is filed and send them a copy. The problem I see is your grandfather. If he stipulated something in his Will it has to be carried thru. Since your family business went under, did Dad have any assets to leave? If not, having a Will may mean nothing unless he left personal items.

So call the County your Dad resided in and ask Probate if a Will has been filed for Dad.
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MargaretMcKen Nov 2023
I think the legal 'point' of your Dad saying "What's yours is mine" (actually he probably said 'what's mine is yours') is that everything was in joint names. It goes to the survivor legally and automatically on death. Probate is almost always required to deal with some things, like registering transfers of land to a beneficiary who wasn't on the title in joint names. With other things, like small bank accounts where the bank knows the family well, informal dealings with small assets is a really good idea. I like the idea of 'no probate required for less than $20,000', which means it relies less on individual bank rules.

I assumed that USA law on this was based on English ‘Common Law’, as is the case in Oz where I am. However I found that some USA states still base some inheritance law on the ‘Code Napoleon’, because they had an established French set of title rules. ‘Community title’ and different intestacy rules spring to mind as one of the results. So now I’m a lot less adamant about it!
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I can’t offer any advice, only that I’m sorry that you had to find out about your father’s death like this. That’s a damn shame.
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If you go to country records and there was a will it must be filed in your father's county. A Trust however needs no filing, so you would not necessarily be told about that. Look up your state laws. An executor has a certain number of days to notify beneficiaries that they are indeed beneficiaries under a will.
If you father had a large estate and you feel you may have been named hire an attorney to research any will or Trust activity, and to write a letter asking about your status under any will or Trust. If a small estate, I would move on. It is very unlikely you were left anything by will or Trust and not notified. To ignore the stipulations of a will or Trust is dangerous and illegal.
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MargaretMcKen Nov 2023
Alva, are you sure that wills always have to be filed in county records? They don't where I am, and I have the impression that this is a topic still under state control (not federal) in the USA. (I was picked up on it when I first joined the site). Here they have to be filed only when probate is taken out after death. Still, worth a check!
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I have a distant friend who sent everyone who is family and named, a copy of her living will and trust. This way, everyone knows exactly what her wishes will be when she is gone.. a smart woman.
That being said, you can do your own living trust and will. Another friend did his mom’s. Think he bought a book at Office Depot .. this was 25 years ago. I guess you can download them..
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JoAnn29 Nov 24, 2023
Probate requires a letter and copy of Will be sent to each beneficiary and interested party that probate has been opened. You have to prove to probate this has been done.
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"Dad is married 21 yrs to his wonderful lady.............." Wouldn't your "wonderful" step mother know if you are both mentioned in the will?
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I was in a similar situation. My sister, who is mentally ill and a hoarder, is executor and holder of all the information. I have not been in my mothers house for nearly 10 years, it stands there empty and rotting bc. After 3 years of politely asking, I had my lawyer send a letter to her lawyer asking for a copy of the will as I am next of kin. The will was promptly sent, and it just said all assets would be distributed according to the trust. Then I had to send another letter asking f for the trust, and was promptly told I’m not in it and have no right to see it. So that was the end of it. I have no more contact with my sister and have written her off.
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In addition to searching county probate. If none, then state laws has a certain division of assets. All siblings and the spouse should be listed when filing probate.
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CaroloraC: I am so sorry for your loss and send condolences. I wish you well to find out if there was a will. Perhaps you can go through the county records.
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