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Is there an Al Anon group in your area that your mom can attend?
Please make a call to Council on Aging and see if he will qualify for assistance in their program. Then your mom can have a sitter for him occasionally.
Maybe Dad needs Alcohol Anonymous. Must be others in his situation. You should not OK his behaviour. And be blunt "We r not coming back until u get rid of the anger. Its not our fault ur where you are. Its your fault.
Has Dad ever been any different? That is to say was he once a sweet guy and this has come on only now with his serious illness? Illness never improves, or seldom improves, our personality.
Is your father mentally well and capable? If so it may be time to explain that he may end alone with his illness if others are unable to live with her anger and angst.
Wishing you good luck going forward. If this is a case where alcoholism is involved then Al-Anon is so very needed for all family members. It is the place where you will learn that you cannot change others, but can only control your own choices, and you will get so much strength from others.