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I had a friend who had an only child. Her employer offered employees to buy extra life insurance up to 100k. Being single at the time her daughter was beneficiary. Friend remarried but never changed the beneficiary. But, she thought her daughter would pay for her funeral and then have the rest of the insurance. That did not happen. The daughter found out she was under no obligation to pay for her mothers funeral. The 100k was hers to do as she pleased.
So, as beneficiary of that policy, your wife is under no obligation to share it with you. She can pay for her son's funeral but is not obligated to. You can have more than one beneficiary. For some reason son only put Mom.
But the long and the short of it is that if your ex-wife is the only beneficiary of your son's life insurance policy - and your son has passed and the life insurance has paid out - there is no legal requirement for her to share the proceeds. There were no other beneficiaries.
Typically - if there are multiple beneficiaries - the life insurance company will send separate checks to each. (if there is anything remaining after the funeral expenses are paid directly to the funeral home)
Now, my DH, who was also POA and Executor of his father's estate, was the only LIVING beneficiary of his father's life insurance policy. For some reason his dad never updated it after MIL passed away. Legally - DH could have kept every penny of that policy after the funeral expenses were paid. However, he did choose to split it with his sister.
But legally he wasn't required to do so, as he was the only living beneficiary.
More details about your situation would help us better address your question, if you don't mind sharing.
You don't have any legal reason to contest this.