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Do you take over her care and let him get out of the house for respite? Does he have household help coming in? Caring for a spouse, especially when one is elderly himself, is ten times the job it is for a younger person, plus an able-bodied spouse's world becomes incredibly small and isolating. Your dad is making a cry for help, if you ask me.
If anything, I'd make sure his privacy settings are set to "Friends Only" so the things he posts can't be seen by friends of friends, or worse, the whole world. Also make sure his birth year and location aren't on his profile. You don't want anyone who isn't an actual friend knowing that vulnerable seniors are out there ripe for the picking.
One thing I have learned in my many years of caregiving for my husband and that is you have to learn when to pick your battles. I don't think this is a battle worth fighting. Best wishes.
Does he spend the entire day at home alone with his wife? If so, it's time for some respite and hiring an aide to visit every so often. Now that facilies are opening up, I would suggest him attending a support group. That's probably wishful thinking because very few men attend them.
He is having a hard time. Not like he can skip on down to the pub for a pint. Not as though he can even sit on a park bench and visit with people. He can't complain to you overmuch. (and must you not have your own outlets to speak your piece? Because you SHOULD).
This is no disrespect to your Mom any more than a pile of Playboys would be. This is about Dad and HIS needs. I say tell him honestly "Dad, I blocked you on FB because while I know you need to share what you feel, it is hurtful to me, as daughter to you both, to see it.
Don't rob your Dad of this simple relief. Just don't go there. Please. It is like pulling a hangnail. You are hurting yourself, knowingly hurting yourself.
I am so sorry for the pain for you all.
After so many people asked me what is WRONG with him (nothing, boredom, maybe, a love of argument, LOVES to 'tease') I just blocked all comments from him.
Sure makes my life better. If there is something he posts that is truly funny or uplifting, eventually he'll send it to me as a email.
You don't have to be friends with everyone :)
Her FB antics have almost cost us a relationship....I had to finally decide to keep her on “snooze” but it’s shocking how many people see her posts and make comments to me about them! Her latest showed a woman looking up at a noose (YES!!) and contemplating suicide...with a story about a little boy knocking on the door at just that moment, rescuing her. Good Lord, the people who gave her love for that. I was mortified! To think she told me that I was “unladylike” when I was a girl for smacking my gum or sitting with my legs apart! All I can think, is she wouldn’t like this bahavior at all if she could clearly see what she is doing. It’s our burden that many can and will relate to...we have to love.
Best of luck to you.
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