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Well. That's my question, anyway.
Because unless she isn't, it isn't up to you to decide whether she stays in the NH or not. It's up to her.
Of course, no one can force you to lift a finger to help her go or stay home, though.
What does your father want to happen? What would he like for his own care, looking ahead?
It sounds like you may have some options.
Either way start looking at what is available in your area - try to get a good clean one near either your place or your dad's but ideally close to both - take some pix & make up a note book on them all with rating many items like room size, activities, food etc -
I usually went without an appointment to make an appointment because they will do a mini tour that is not prettied up for you & you see them in their everyday practice - they won't have as much time for you at a meal time but you will see how they manage their charges - good luck because it is never easy
After trying for 5 days, I finally got an appt for a PEG tube to be inserted. She was in decent shape just before her 1st discharge, so I still feel like there's more I can do.
But, yes, the cycle is taxing for all of us, not only because it's two people with different needs but because my brother's daughter has created havoc and drama, distracting medical staff daily at every facility.
I suppose the decision for you depends on several things:
1. what does your Mom want?
2. what do her doctors and nurses say?
3. When you said "and me" in the first sentence, did you mean that you come by or that you live there? Your other sentences suggest you don't, which is the one difference between you and me. I moved into their attic last December, so I can monitor things better than if I weren't living here. If you can't, or don't want to, live there, and aren't close by, or have to be at a job for 8 hours or more each day, then it's probably time to take her somewhere.
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