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Is this a cultural thing? I agree, Mom needs to learn to be alone. She has to find interests of her own. My Mom was 78 when Dad passed. She had her Church and widowed friends. She kept herself busy. Mom needs time to adjust. They say not to make any major decisions for a year after a spouse dies. You need to be honest with Mom "sorry, I don't think us living together will work. You will need to adjust to being a widow. Give it time."
If she has a house that she can't keep up, then it may be better to sell and find a nice 55 and up apt. Using the proceeds of her house to help with expenses. Do not enable her or disable her by doing too much for her. If she needs the lawn mowed, she needs to hire someone. She can't clean her house, hire someone. Just 2 examples.
We have had OPs take on responsibility of parents homes when they have homes of their own and jobs. They were exhausted. Your Mom's life is going to change and she needs to learn to go with the changes. Living with her children is not the answer. And looks like you already know how things would go. So, as said, boundaries will need to be made. You have a family and they come first. Also, two women cannot live together. Especially a MIL and DIL. Especially if the home belongs to one of them.
Give your mom the gift of autonomy instead of the penalty of being a burden to your family. It affects the quality of everyone's life enormously.
Good luck being honest with your mom. In the end, it's a lot easier than cohabitating with her for potentially 20 years!
Sometimes our parents make demands that we cannot fill. This is thoughtless of them because it requires us to make many sacrifices. At 75, your mom may live a long time, and if she's relied on your dad, she may be scared about what will happen next. Encourage her to go to a grief support group. Help her to finally grow up and become independent, not DEpendent on you.
You're going to have to put your foot down and tell her NO. You deserve your own family life without becoming a household that must meet the demands of a 75-year-old mom who needs to make her own life now. I'm sure she can do that with your encouragement.
If she "doesn't want to live alone" Assisted Living will be a safe place, with people her own age, so she won't be lonely or scared. Plus 3 meals, snacks, no more utility bills, housecleaning and more activities. A nice retirement community with a Staff to wait on her. They provide transportation and excursions too.
Otherwise, she's home alone all day until you get home from work and start hustling with dinner and double the chores. She will expect 100% attention that you cannot give. Stop it now before you get pressured into it and regret it. She can rent a room out in her home and have a roommate and extra money too.
You are going to need that for the years ahead of you, so start now.
It's a very bad idea, you could end up with your mom for 20 plus years.
Your mom's not the first 75 year old to suddenly feel alone, and she won't be the last.
Be there for her to help her though, but don't move her in
"Mom, I love you, and I am so sorry for your loss and all the losses you are facing now, but I cannot LIVE with you and I won't be trying to. That isn't up for argument. That's a simple fact we both have to live with. We can mourn it but we can't change it. I hope you'll let me help you find a place you can enjoy, let me continue to be your loving daughter visiting you and taking you out. I am not cut out to be a caregiver."
If she begins to argue this statement simply tell her that you have no intention of arguing the matter as your mind will not be changed.
Not everything can be fixed. Your mom lived a long life. This isn't the first time she has been unhappy, has mourned losses. This is what old age is, to be honest. It's loss after loss after loss. I am 81. I guarantee it.
Be honest. Start out honest and don't equivocate as that will be terribly painful in the end.
Anyway, yes to cruises, IF your relative seems up for it. (Personally, I've never been on one and can't see this happening for me). But it could be a nice "change of pace" idea for someone needing not to be alone and have a bit of fun & some good food (which I hear is generally excellent on cruises). But get some professional help with the "right kind" of cruise for your relative: not a huge cruise ship that's like a "floating city," with people getting inebriated and jumping off ship (which, based on media stories seems to happen on occasion) but something smaller, more intimate, probably no more than about a week cruise or even just a long weekend to "test the waters" so to speak, to see if she likes it. If she has the funds, why not invite a young person (a niece for example) to accompany her? My former stepmother did this, and I think it went well. Good luck!
Your mom still has a lot of living and enjoying of her life to do, so let her figure out exactly what that will look like for herself.
I would make it crystal clear that moving in with you is NOT an option, but you can offer other options like independent or assisted living, where she will be around other people her age and where she can be involved as she wants to be.
But honestly I would just give her time to adjust to her new life without her husband. You may find that in time she really enjoys being on her own, coming and going as she pleases, and doing what she wants, if she wants and when she wants.