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You need a break, too. Go to your state Web site under aging services and look for their version of The Family Caregivers Support Program.
Carol
If any of these changes have occurred after her traumatic experience, she is probably frustrated, depressed and afraid.
Step into her shoes... you may find the answer.
In a word: YES.
But you should still inform her doctor since this may indicate that her blood pressure is still elevated or her medication needs adjustment.
Don't assume that she is taking her medication and eating the proper foods. Help her with these even if she protests that she doesn't want your help. Recovery from a stroke and heart attack does not happen overnight. Your mom has to do her "homework"
Also, keep in mind that she is not being herself when she yells at you so do not take any of it personally. Keep your sense of humor because you will need it.
Here is what my family does when our dad goes awry:
1. If it happens in front of us, we don't stop what we are doing, but we do tell him (sometimes loud over his yell) that everything's okay and we love him, several times over but not in a mean way. That doesn't stop the episode, but it does quiet him down. Sometimes he might cry a bit, too, and then we pat him on the shoulder. We found if we stopped what we were doing and went to him, he would get angry or even hit. Your mom might not, but my dad does.
2. If he is outside or away from us, we let him be until he calms down. We keep an eye on him. He never has hurt himself or others when he is outside yelling, but we never know. Then we go and ask him if he needs anything after he has settled down. He usually says no and is himself again by that point, sometimes I think he doesn't even remember what just happened.
He hasn't ever lost it in public, though, so it is probably all about us! (Just kidding). The important thing we all learned over the past 20 years is that our dad had new behaviors, new frustrations, and new ways of doing things after his stroke. He lost the ability to speak and write much, so we had to learn gestures and sounds he could make for things along with him. Some of his new behaviors are quirky to us, but we have learned to live with it just as he has. Hang in there and hope this helps...