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None of her money should go towards paying your bills. Pay them yourself.
I would like to gently suggest that you are somewhat romanticizing your mom's future aging progression. For this reason I do not recommend you buy her another house. You will be the one propping up the pretense that she is independent when in reality you will be orbiting around her needs for care more and more with each passing month as you struggle to maintain another home. Also, she will be isolated there by herself. Even if she is socially engaged now and even drives, you will be amazed at how quickly this can all come to a screeching halt. Please research some good quality Independent Living communities that have transitional care into Assisted, Long-term, Memory and hospice. This is not to "warehouse her" but to help meet her growing needs while keeping her socially engaged and sharing her supervision with qualified professionals so that you're not taking on all of it by yourselves. Please read more on this forum, as it will be very informative and eye opening for you. I wish you all the best in moving forward!
That was in 2014. Dad died in 2015 and my mother is still alive at 93 and living in Memory Care Assisted Living. Their hard earned money will run out in 2021 and THEN I will apply for Medicaid to finance my mother's new life in Skilled Nursing. When Medicaid does their 5 year look back, there's nothing to hide and no fraudulent activity to discover. All that will be revealed is that ALL of their money went towards paying for their care.
I've killed myself over the years to make sure I didn't spend any of their money and to make sure it would be extended as long as humanly possible, because that's the right thing to do. My father was an immigrant from Italy who worked his entire life so their 'retirement' could be handled properly, thank God. I am an only child and forever grateful they had the funds to keep them well cared for in AL for 7+ years.
An elder care lawyer would be your best bet to guide you through the process. You do not want to come out in 10 years or so and find you've made some horrific financial decisions.
Does mom want to protect her assets so she can leave her kids an inheritance or is she planning on using her money for er own care? It makes a huge difference in how you plan for the future.
I wouldn't attempt this move w/o legal aid. You won't want drama now or when mom passes or requires higher levels of care.
Good Luck with this!
Reverse mortgages are only good if someone with money wants to take equity out of their home to buy investments that have a much great return then the interest rate on a Reverse Mortgage, plus fees.
If there's any left over after she passes - may she live forever - then good luck to you. I'm sure she hopes there will be, and I respect that as a natural wish in a parent; but you don't have the ghost of a right to expect the state to fund or subsidise her care while she's sitting on cash reserves or property assets.
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