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We thought that she would be a real problem there, nope..she loves it, has made new friends, likes her apartment and enjoys being chauffeured around by the homes shuttle bus.
Glad that she likes it there, because that is where she will stay until she goes to the happy hunting ground, she is soon to be 95, there are no other options.
No, you do not have to take her back to your home.
Once u put Mom in an AL, thats it. No "if she likes it" that is now her new home and she needs to adjust. She has a Dementia, its not going to get better. Maybe why her reactions to not wanting to be alone. Like said, she wants to go first hurdle done. Better that she adjusts now to it being her new home than later when harder for her to except. Do not give her an option. Do not give into her. Do not let her guilt you. When she is negative, try to change the subject. If she is nasty, walk away. Say, see u later. When she says I want to go home, tell her the AL is now her home. She has a nice little apt (we never called it a room) for privacy and a common area if she wants to make friends, be involved in activities and the entertainment that comes in. If she is capable, there are shopping outings.
I will assume u have POA. This is when it comes into effect. Mom can no longer make decisions about her life if she has a dementia. Its no longer what she wants but what she needs. When my brother visited he made a big thing out of her AL. "Boy, I could live here". "Love this apt". We always told Mom it "was" her home. She would make new friends. Don't visit real long the first week or so. Just kind of a "seeing how its going" Let the staff do their jobs. She is paying for her care. I not once toileted my Mom when she was in the AL. I always called an aide.
If it doesn't work, find out if she needs a higher level of care.
Memorize the words "It is unsafe for her in my home!" No further explanation is required. She can not be safe in your home. This will help get a social worker involved to help find mom the right, safe place.
Good for you for moving her out instead of sucking it up for years and destroying your own life.
Do you have to bring her back to your home? No, you don’t. No one can force you to do that. Simply say that you are not comfortable and/or equipped to be a home caregiver and other arrangements need to be made.