By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
afternoon, bedtime. It stays on top of the refrigerator where she can't reach it. This works out well. Once a week, I fill the box from my typed list.
my sister and i have tried to talk to her about the number of meds she is on for years, but to no avail. after the umpteenth fall, one last june where she broke her right ankle, and the very next month where she broke her left tibia, i finally got into her doctors face with 18 pages of probable/possible drug interactions with the 15 different medications they had her on. some where potentially fatal. the doctor agreed, with my mother very unhappy but also agreeing, to eliminate three drugs and titrate down a few others. Ambien was the first medication to go, along with two other central nervous system depressants. she took her off of another one the next month. within a few months she was steadier on her feet, all her shaking stopped, her speech was no longer slurred, and her thinking was somewhat clearer. the Ambien has still left her with permanent bizarre beliefs that my sister and i cannot convince her are wrong, so Incredibly wrong, after a whole year.
my mother is in a board and care home, so her medications are Tightly Controlled. this is really the only thing you can do for a drug addict, and that is what my mother is. just because someone is getting their legal medications from a doctor, does not mean they are not an addict. they might need those medications, but if they abuse them they are addicts.
Everyone here has given some great ideas, but the most important thing to read out of all of them is this, YOU have to be the one in control of the meds. yes, your mother will be incredibly angry with you, it's one of the signs of addiction, plus no one likes being out of control of their own life. if you are lucky, when she is well again, she might thank you, but don't really count on it. my mother did thank me when her shaking stopped and she could walk again. but she still thinks i'm a controlling btch, in gratitude she took back control of her bank accounts so i can't see that she is spending away all her money again. we're not speaking at this time, but she'll call me again when she wants help. my sister and my aunts think i am freaking amazing, LOL!
Do make an appointment for the both of you to speak with her doctor(s) together. When you tell the doctor(s) what is going on, do not sugar coat the truth even though you are speaking in front of your mother. Give it to them straight. No matter how much it will upset her, she needs to hear it. No one willingly changes unless they know how ugly their behavior is.
my personal belief is that Ambien is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE drug!!! it should definitely never be used in combination with other central nervous depressants!!! i also believe that it is much too strong to be used on elderly people. this is a hypnotic and hallucinogenic drug. Ambien is very difficult to come off of, people who have abused it may destroy sleep patterns for a very long time. my mother's doctor substituted trazadone for her, i agreed only because i knew of it having used it as an anti-depressant/sleep aid for fifteen years myself. there is no "high", so it's non-addictive. you just fall asleep within twenty minutes. it took my mother several months to come off the ambien, but she is sleeping well now. she did btch, moan, gripe, and complain for those four or five months. she did try to get her doctor to increase the trazadone, but since the doctor had a more complete knowledge of my mother from speaking with me a couple times, she refused.
I don't worry so much about her Tylenol III. She doesn't misuse it. I flushed some old sleeping pills because I didn't want her taking one benzo on top of another. It is tough when our elders are drug addicts. My mother is nearly 86 and has dementia, so I don't really want her to go through detox. I just want her to not use her lorazepam the way she will if left to her own devices.
I've tried to convince her to get one the the boxes that will let her use her medicines only at certain times. She got angry and said that she would break it, because it didn't understand that sometimes she needed more. She said I had better not even bring it in the house or she would break it.
The semi-taking charge of her medicines has had good results. She used to make herself sick taking too much Metformin. That hasn't happened since I started our new method. She often double-dosed on blood pressure medicine. She denied all this, but I count, so I know. And she has dementia, along with tending to be a bit dishonest to start with. If she is not incompetent and will not work with you on the meds, try taking a more gentle control that makes her feel like she is still in charge. You may be able to come up with something that works in your situation. (I too worry about her being alone with her drugs.)
Tylenol
Tylenol
.
My Mom has done this many times. Has wound up in the hospital because of it..... Has gone thru withdrawal because of it.......withdrawal mimics heart problems and mental incapacity, hallucinations, agitation...... She has the weekly pill box, but she has been filling it herself and has been mixing her meds up. Some of the meds look just like the others.......
Also, she goes to several different doctors who all treat just that one condition - the doctors do not communicate with each other down here, so noone knows what else is going on.
.
In the past, she has had a nurse come in once a week to go thru her pills (cleaning out years of bottles that had been hidden away), but Mom is quite capable of adding or subtracting as she wants. This service was provided by Medicare, but only for a few weeks.....and keep in mind, vitamins and other non-prescription supplements can affect the prescribed medications.........
.
Everyone here is right, your Moms meds have to be controlled, by force if necessary. How you do that, I am not sure. Lock box, maybe. There are weekly med boxes that open one little cubbie at a certain time, and the other boxes do not open - however, this box is expensive and if someone decides to smash it with a shoe or hammer..................
It's apparent that the time has come where Mom shouldn't be living alone or at least caring for herself. Is your sister willing to step up and help you with this? Is this something you are willing to take on? You might also want to look into placing Mom where she will have 24/7 care with oversight of her medication so there isn't the possibility of an overdose. It sounds like no matter what you do Mom is not going to be happy, and keep in mind that some of her unhappiness right now could be caused by the amount of medication she is ingesting. It's hard to make the decisions for what we think is best for our loved one when they have lost the ability to live on their own. This may be tough in the beginning.....getting Mom to the doctor and getting her medication regulated....but it can be done. You will need to be firm and let things that Mom says roll off you.....remember you are making changes to allow her to have a good quality of life and for you to also continue to live knowing she is being taken care of. Good luck to you!
Good luck-it's difficult but once the routine is set, it really works!