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As You stated Your Mom is receiving 24 hour Nursing Care at home but remember She would give it all away for quality time with You Who She trusts and Loves. I treasure the beautiful memories I have of My dear Mother, and the time We had together over the last three years at home.
My late MIL was just like this. Previously dxed with dementia by a neurologist ( she told her children that was BS and not to believe it), her symptoms worsened after surgery. Wouldn't cooperate with rehab. Was placed in a NH and starved herself to death. Nope, no one could tell her what to do. Not her sons ( she accused them of elder abuse when they tried to get her to stop smoking, eat better), not her doctors.
She knew better. I'm really sorry, but this is a personality type that i call " their own worst enemy".
Hearing becoming worse, eyesight is starting to fail, clothes don't fix correctly, can't wear high heels anymore due to being a fall risk. Thus when it comes to conversations, there isn't a heck of a lot to talk about as not much is new in their lives.... [sigh].
I am afraid to ask this, but how does Mom feels about moving to a retirement community where she would be around people closer to her age? Should I cover my ears???
Is aging a denial? Thus the reason for not wanting to take any medicine? I know I was the same, wouldn't take an aspirin for pain unless my hair was on fire. And you can't change that way of thinking. Some meds can be compound into a liquid that the caregiver could put in her orange juice or coffee. It's just a suggestion.
(Does she have dementia, by the way?)
Don't take all of her phone calls. If there is a true emergency there is someone there to handle it. They can call you. Tell your mom that you will call her once in the morning, and take one evening call from her (or whatever seems reasonable to you). Then STICK TO YOUR PLAN!