By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
As punkersad said, it may be an aide said to her once, "You stay right here while I go and get a bandaid. Don't leave now, and I'll be right back." She could be obsessing on the "stay right here" part. Or her delusion might be totally out of thin air.
Whatever triggered the delusion, you aren't going to be able to reason her out of it. She is losing her ability to reason and that is no longer a way to reach her. And now she has the additional stress of you not believing her. Perhaps the next time this happens you can acknowledge her feelings and put her at ease along these lines, "Oh Mom! That just doesn't seem right, does it? You shouldn't be restricted. Let me talk to the people in the office and get this straightened out." Since she did not believe or remember the aides' reassurances, give her something tangible as "proof" she is allowed to move about freely. This could be a smiley-face pin she can wear all the time, or a wallet-sized card you print out, with official signatures, or a token she can carry in a pocket, etc. Your goal is to help her not feel restricted to the dining room. It is not to teach her the "truth".
You can see that having a loved one in a care center does not eliminate caregiving tasks and stresses -- it does change the nature of the responsibility. Now you have to monitor the kind of care she is getting, how she is being treated by staff, and to be her advocate. This is an extremely important role, and your mother is lucky to have you to fill it!
In case you are wondering if the delusions are a result of being in a care center, I think not. We have been fortunate so far that my husband has been able to be at home during his 9 years of dementia. He has gone through a period of feeling imprisoned (to the point of trying to call the sherrif to report it), and a period of begging to "go home" -- even though that is where he was. He has thought our house was a railway station ... I could go on and on. The point is that dementia is progressive. It progresses on its merry way whether you can keep your loved one at home or whether placement is the best option.
Hugs to you as you embark on this new and challenging part of the journey.