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Ask your local area council on aging what resources are available in your community. Ask the doctor for a referral to a social worker with expertise in dementia. Maybe even a visit from Hospice might give you access to experts and volunteers to take some of the burden off your father.
Ask about medication to increase her appetite. Consider taking her to a geriatrician, who would have more expertise. Your father, being male, may think he should be able to handle it all. Ask him to come and post here to get some support, and do your best to get him more help.
I don't know how involved you are - maybe you already do tons to help. Just saying, I wish I had taken more time off work to stick my nose into my mother's medical care. We feel guilty about work - And we can't afford to lose our jobs! - but if you need to get more involved, you will be glad you did, even if the boss gets a little upset. No offense intended. Just sharing my regret.
Thank you for your comments and it's definitely helpful. Yes my mother was diagnosed just 4 years ago but she had early sign of dementia at 2007 . We actually took her to neurologist and did a MRI in 2009. That's when the doc confirmed she had Alzheimer's few years ago.You are so right sometimes it really frustrates me and my family when she refuse medication and I feel so sorry for my dad as she kicks a big fuss about taking them. I come to a stage where I might discuss the next visit with the doctor about the alzheimer meds. Should we continue or not. her cholesterol was at 8. The doctor worries about stroke and other health problems if the cholesterol is not monitored. He suspected sometime ago she might had a mild stroke as her speech was affected . He says there's no way her speech was affected due to Alzheimer. So I am really not sure and it's really sad to see her like these. At times I wish God would just take her way as I see my dad who cares for her is suffering mentally and her mood swings is so erratic. she scolds him a lot . It's so hard and it affects the family a lot. None of our relatives nor my mums family members visit her. We don't depend on anyone for support but it's so painful to see her deteriorating day by day.
Do you know why your mother resists taking her meds? Is it hard to swallow? Is she paranoid about what they will do to her? If you can figure out the reason that may help you overcome it.
We got to a point where my husband's pills had to be crushed. The best medium for the crushed powder was grape soda. The strong flavor helped mask the taste and the fizz seemed to help them dissolve. I used a small amount of soda -- about an inch in a small glass, and then gave my husband a glass of plain grape soda, if he wanted it.
Discuss with her doctor whether any of her pills could be discontinued. In the present circumstances is it worthwhile to continue the cholesterol med? Are the dementia drugs helping? I am a very big believer in medications, but only if they work. Especially if it is difficult to get the patient to take drugs, it is important to prioritize what is valuable and what is less important.