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Read the whole thread as there are some other excellent suggestions.
Please update us when you can.
Carol
I've seen it posted here where other people who can't get their elderly parent to the Dr. tell them that because of insurance reasons they have to go in for a check-up.
If you do get your mom to agree to a Dr. visit have a brief list of your her symptoms written down to give to the Dr. or the nurse prior to the Dr. coming in.
You have just given me the reason. I've rarely read a post that so clearly shows us why a formal diagnosis is so important. Your mom is miserable. She's lost in her own world of paranoia. She needs medication to relieve these obsessive thoughts.
If your mom goes to the doc regularly, go with her. Don't worry about talking in her presence. Talk away. If she doesn't go regularly, find a geriatric primary care doc and make an appointment for her. Go with her. Same plan.
How to get her to go. Try this: "Mom, your brain is playing tricks on you. Your thought process isn't normal. You know I love you to bits, and we're going to get you help. I think you might have a bad infection. We've just GOT to get you tested." It's no lie, since a serious urinary tract infection in older adults can cause bizarre behavior. The doc may want to rule that out.
Tell her this tale on the morning of the appointment when you arrive to help her get ready. "And after the appointment, you and I are going out to lunch."
If that or some other cooperative plan doesn't work, wait for some particularly bizarre behavior and call 911. When you get her to the hospital, tell them you're afraid for her safety because of her thoughts. I think they will help you.
At this stage she needs either lots of in her care and supervision or to be in a memory care facility. It can be tough to do but sometimes it has to be done regardless of her complaining. She will adjust.
As for dementia meds. There is no cure but there are several meds pitched to patients and families that claim to slow down and improve dementia. I have seen no evidence that any of them are very effective and many can have crummy side effects. She may benefit from medication to calm her down. There's a wide range of anti depressants docs will recommend.
For my own children, I am giving them ideas on how to take care of ME when the time comes. I don't want them to go through the things my siblings and I have had to deal with. At least they will be educated on how to trick me into Assisted Living! ;-)
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