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Soon enough, I added a caregiver for a few hours twice a week. Mom didn't like it and didn't understand why but again I said it was for ME and that "I" wasn't comfortable leaving her alone, etc.
So figure out how you want to phrase it (therapeutic lies are in order!) and just do it. Don't ask her, nicely but firmly tell her that way it is going to go. My mom ended up really liking her "ladies" and it was very pleasant and helpful.
Best of luck.
Not only is the caregiver in the unenviable position of having to deny a person who once commanded obedience and respect that they are no longer capable of dealing with their own ongoing care, but in addition, picking up the pieces if the “careneeder” stumbles, figuratively or literally, is one of the hardest and most painful decisions forced on caregivers in early caregiving.
After you’ve had the needs assessment, do the heart to heart with Mom about SAFETY, and if that sinks in, personal care and management.
If she’s in anyway reasonably clear cognitively, you may possibly make some inroads that way.
If she’s dealing with cognitive decline, heres hoping somebody has a POA……
Call the local Area Agency on Aging and have a professional "needs assessment".
Elders will listen to an RN or SW and not their own kids.
If your mother lives with you, in your home, she doesn't get a choice. If you need help caring for her, she needs to pay for and accept hired help.
If you live with her in HER home, you make arrangements to move so that she can maintain her "independence". Call APS when you leave and report that she is a vulnerable adult living alone.
Have you looked into assisted Living Facilities for her? In old age, there aren't lots of "good" choices, only the least bad ones. Mom needs to bend.