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He is "too tired" for the practical solutions you suggest, such as going out together for a few hours. He says you don't talk to him and you say he is so grumpy you don't like being around him. Is this a vicious cycle?
Moving Mom to a care center or day-time care might be a solution, but only if Mom's presence is really the problem.
Somehow, it seems to me, that you have to discover, preferably together, what is the real nature of the problem. Only then can you work on suitable solutions -- again, hopefully together.
there are many reasons that a guy get grumpy and every one of them have to do with his genitals. it isnt that complex after all..
Finding new arrangements for mom will probably not resolve this problem. He may have a depression or something which he could take care of with treatment. But I would not feel guilty about the job, the move or your mother's presence.
Good luck and I hope your mother continues to be as healthy as she is.
Elizabeth
He seems to be looking for something to complain about and that is a red flag for what is the "real" problem. He needs to talk to you as an adult. You have your hands full and he owes that to you.If mom is a problem, then you will have to look at what is more important to you. Your marriage or your mother. Hard times bring out the best or worst in people.
You mentioned that his job was very stressful...it may be something at work has happened that has just increased the stress and if stress of having Mom living with you is making his life unbearable
maybe finding a new place for Mom would be a win win for everyone.
We were living with his mother and I had been taking care of her for years but I guess my mother was different. I had given up a fantastic job and moved away from friends and family so we could be with his mother and help take care of.
Four months after my mother moved in with us, he got very angry one night and told me to "GET OUT." I packed up my mother and the children and we moved into our own little house. As difficult as this has been on me, I finally saw my husband for who he really was.....a very selfish, self-centered man. Life is hard for me but we are all much happier now.
Please be careful. You must talk with him. He may be feeling left out or that you have no time for him. Communication is the key.
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