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You know your Mom the best. Is she waiting for someone to come visit her? Is she waiting for someone to graduate from high school or college? Is she waiting for someone to have their baby?
I think that the meeting with the Hospice nurses and Chaplain is a good idea. It will allow you to say "Good Bye" to your Mom, to thank her for all that she has done for you over the years (even if those years were not so great or fun or were stressful), and to let her know that you will miss her and will remember her. Think of this as giving your Mom one last "Greeting Card" that says "I LOVE YOU".
{{{HUGS}}} and Prayers 🙏
My niece lives in Georgia. My brother waited until she arrived. He was at death’s door too. He perked up when she walked through the door. She may have been a grown woman with kids of her own but he still saw her as daddy’s little girl.
If it was me, I would tell her that I love her and she did a great job raising me and although I will miss her I will be ok. Plus, their is ______(name) is waiting for you.
Sometimes people need a little push to go.
I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this difficult time. I have a feeling your mom will go once you and your family tell her that you guys will be find and you guys will see her again.
Hugs!!
Is there anyone that she could be waiting to say goodbye too? If not then it is a good idea to tell her that it is okay for her to go if she is ready.
My best friends dad lingered in a similar situation and when her mom told him that she would be okay and he could go when he was ready, he squeezed her hand and passed away. We all believe that he needed to hear she would be okay with him dying.
May The Lord give your family strength and grieving mercies during this time. Hugs, it is so hard losing a loved one.
I think meeting with the chaplain is a good idea. I did that when my brother was being treated by hospice.
Can you also speak to a social worker? The social worker was very helpful to my brother and our family.
The hospice nurses had the same discussion with me before my brother died. She also said a person should feel like everyone is at peace with them leaving this world.
Some people want their loved one to stick around past their time. So if you feel like you should ‘give her permission’ to go, then do that. I did with my brother.
Before that, every time I left that evening I would say that I would come back the next day.
The nurse said that I had to stop telling him that I was coming back to see him. So, I told my brother that it was okay to go and that I knew he was ready to leave. I was at peace and I believe he was too.
Many, many hugs in this tough transitional time.
Right now I wouldn't think of saying something to my mom like that because I think she would feel like I was telling her I was tired of her or something. If my mom was in an unresponsive state, almost comatose, like my dad was and she was suffering, then it would break my heart to say it, but I would let her know I would be okay. I don't think I could say it is okay for her to go, but I would say I will be okay and I have always loved you and you are the best mom ever. I believe they should be actively in the dying transition, not doing poorly and then rallying. How long someone "hangs on" is really up to them. They have such little choice and free will of their own remaining, we need to allow them what we can.
I decided not to have all the Hospice team and my brothers
meet up and approach Mom as a group to tell her she can let
go. I just wasn't sure how she would feel about that. I feel
it may upset her or make her feel overwhelmed or confused.
The more I think about it, I do agree that when God is ready for
her to leave this earth he will take her. I do reassure her that
we are all doing well, etc. I love her so much. We have been so
close and she has not only been a Mother to me but my best
friend and I will deeply miss her. I will never experience a love
like my Mother has shown me.
My mom, who lives with me, has signs and symptoms of Alzheimers/Dementia but won't get diagnosed. She has other health issues as well, and talks about death a lot. She thinks she has to stay with me so I won't be alone. I keep telling her that I know how to be alone, and if it's time for her to go, that it's okay. Same thing...I tell her I will always love and miss her, but I understand. Every night, when I tuck her into bed, we hug and say "I'll love you forever, wherever we are."