By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
As far as hospice goes, my mother does NOT qualify for their services, even WITH all of her issues. Your mother may not either, but she may. Have you looked into it? My mother takes Tramadol 4x a day for her chronic pain, and says it doesn't help at all. For hospice, she doesn't meet the criteria (even WITH dementia advancing) because she hasn't lost 20% of her body weight, believe it or not!!!!!!!! She eats like a trucker and weighs 190 lbs. So...........that's where we stand on the hospice matter.
Anyway, I hope God decides to take your mom sooner rather than later because being 99 and in the shape she's in is too much. Sending you a big hug of empathy and understanding. I get it.
Knowing the terminology of different levels of care is vital, and this is a good example. She needs daily nursing care for pain management, mobility issues, and basic living needs such as bathing. That's skilled nursing.
My LO is in the memory care area of a very good LA, and there is a tiered set up providing progressively increasing levels of care as needs emerge.
Do you have any possible connections in her area whom you could employ to provide surveillance over her circumstances and loop mom’s needs to you, especially concerning her day to day care?
Prayer? I pray. What I forget sometimes, is “Let go, and Let God”. If YOU are doing the VERY BEST YOU CAN, whether from a distance or next door, in Covid World, that may be all you can do.
I deeply appreciate your intention of doing the best for her that you can. I’m linked in a situation in which my LO has 2 POAs, one of whom lives over 1,000 miles away.
Until Covid I was able to provide companionship and oversight, and of course for the time being, that’s not presently possible.
The other POA writes a check once a month and calls and complains about what I do (“due diligence”-LOL).
I think it would be helpful for you to pursue to possibility of a “visitor”, ideally one who could “drop by” at different times during the day to see what’s happening in your mom’s residence.
I’m assuming that you’ve gone over your mom’s contract with her residence, to be sure that she receives ALL the services she’s paying for. Times are unquestionably strained, and things that WERE done and should be done are lost in the Covid struggles, but there should be some parts of her contract (laundry for example) that should be absolute baselines.
I know my few ideas aren’t much help. Hoping some others can do better for you.
I would find a nice LTC facility and use the money Mom has left for her care then apply for Medicaid when it runs out.
As said, you may want to see if she qualifies for Hospice.
But if you want company, the Elizabeth Berg's WONDERFUL BOOK called "I'll Be Seeing You". You will, at the least, know that you are not alone.
My mom is 95 and would never have wanted to live this long!
My dad died in 2002. She’d much rather be with him in heaven.
So sorry that you are struggling with this situation.
Hoping that your mom will have an easy transition and that you will find peace and joy.
Wishing you and your Mom peace on this difficult journey.
See All Answers