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Tell the staff about the problem, and that you don't want him in her room. Document it in writing to the administrator. They have to manage it.
Take the lock off the door, and yes, she shouldn't have any valuables. If she's not in her right mind, door locks could be dangerous anyway, esp. if the staff doesn't have keys, which it sounds like they don't since they have to ask her to open the door.
i get tickled sitting in ednas nh lunchroom checking out the old gals and trying to imagine them when they were young and possibly promiscuous . the looks they give me back tells me they know what im thinking . the old gal is thinkin " dam , if i were 20 yrs younger " n im thinkin " dam , if it were dark in here " ..
then i go back to the ac dc blaring in my head ..
I am curious, does Mom invite him in? If she enjoys his company, there should not be a problem. They must be in assisted living? Does Mom have dementia? If so, you need to keep an eye on things, but be careful so you don't hurt her feelings or make her mad. If she is competent there should not be a problem with this visitor.
You mention Mom's and his ages. That would not make a difference to me. And I would think it nice that she has this friend.
I am so relieved to know he is not licking the door! Does he seem dangerous or threatening in any way?
If she is designated as non-consenting, Mr. Lick is in trouble, you file a complaint and he gets moved to memory care.
If she is consenting, well they can have all the fun they want. Make sure you clarify her status with the Head Nurse (no pun intended).
If it's the locked door that bothers you, have maintenance remove the locking mechanism after clearing out all valuables. If it's the guy being in there in the first place, tell staff he's not allowed in her room. They'll do their level best to keep an eye on him.
Really kind of a tough one.