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You must be so grateful to have reconnected with your mom when it matters the most. It doesn't matter what happened before. You're with her now and that's all that counts.
Watching a parent live their last days is torture. I know. I lost my dad 10 days ago and I was with him constantly. Yes, it tore me up but I was able to be there for him and I'm so grateful for that. I wasn't there when he died but I know he knew how much I loved him. It was the very last thing I said to him, "I love you, dad." I don't know if he heard me or not, I like to think on some level he did, but I got to say it. How many people lose people they love and were not able to tell them they loved them before they died? It's truly a gift.
But cry all you need to. If you cry in front of your mom that's ok too. It's an honest and raw emotion and there's nothing wrong in that. Tell her what you need to tell her. Listen to her if she needs to talk. You've been given a gift although it may not seem like it now.
It's ok to hurt. It's ok to be scared. It's ok to be sad. Your mom is going through a process and so are you. Walk through it together.
What I am saying is use humor and memories and flowers she can still enjoy NOW, and ice cream,and funny hats... whatever it takes to enjoy what time you have left together. These memories you will be making now are for you to have the peace ,knowing her last days were great ones.
You can do it. Breathe. Vent and get it out. We are here for you ! :) xo