By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
It’s another form of agony, at least for me. For her, as long as I go with her delusion (2h conversation about her plush robot dog) she’s fine. I’ll maintain the illusion. I’ll find my own way to cope.
God bless you and your loved ones
If she asked that you might be family, I'd likely say that I am your family and love you. And play it by ear if that is unsettling to her.
I stopped asking her about knowing names or if she knew me. It was obvious she didn't. So, I would just approach her with a big smile, touch her arm lightly and give a compliment, before beginning my visit. I always say, how lovely she looks in that nice top, her hair is so pretty, etc. I talk about my parents, give update on them, the weather, show her photos on my phone, just as if she does not have dementia. I don't expect any response and do not get any.
You might take her things that she likes to discuss. My LO loved animals, especially cats, so there were always cat pictures, cat t-shirts, things she would enjoy to talk about. It didn't really matter who I was. But, I can imagine that for a daughter, that would be painful and quite an adjustment, so, I know that must be tough.
Brest of luck
One blessing occurred when I stopped at her apt to pick her up so that she could attend a party at my parents' house. When I opened the car door so that Grandma could get into my car, she commented, "You got a new car! I like it!" And even though Grandma had seen this car a couple of times since I had gotten it 6 months earlier; it was a blessing that she realized that this car was different from the car that I had driven for almost 10 years. You take your blessings when they happen. 😊
Not sure if this is a good or bad thing but maybe you will learn some family history you never knew about. It's the feeling of the visit/conversation that's important, the time spent together for each of you not the setting or actual words spoken, that unspoken stuff is what's precious now. Enjoy this time living in your moms time a place.
I hear the same stories over and over. I find I ask questions in different ways which take us down new paths. Photos are a blessing as they jog the memories. If they don't recognize you have them tell you about there life and family. This will help bring them into present day.
In many ways this is like playing a game with the person. You will master it and learn to enjoy it. If and when they get angry, walk away. You can't argue with someone that is confused. Just take a break.
See All Answers