By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
When I was just out of college, I worked with a teaching program with Head Start kids (like pre-schooler age kids). One statement that they taught us that always stuck with me was "Ignore Deviant Behavior". Kids do things to get a reaction. If your mom is getting a reaction from you, that's probably why she's throwing out those little zingers. If you just act like you didn't hear them and go about your business, she'll have to find something else to use to engage with you. If it's something positive, then react.
If you're not reacting and she's still throwing out zingers, then you have to just work on ignoring them. All of our loved ones have things that annoy us. My mom asks me the same question every couple of minutes until I tell her that we've talked about it 4 times already or I get her on some other topic. It's beyond annoying. But she can't help it, as she has no short-term memory. So I have to adjust my reaction, since she's not going to change.
The other thing that REALLY helps is to have some fun/joy/friends in your life. When your life is limited to your mom and your house, little things will drive you up the wall. When you have outside activities to look forward to or things that you love to do that you can lose yourself doing, all of these little things are less important because your world is bigger and includes some good things too.
habit - did she always do this? Does she do it to or about everyone?
deflection - generalised dissatisfaction being concentrated onto the nearest target i.e. you
stream of consciousness that isn't, in fact, intended as criticism. My mother often says "AAH! THERE you are..!" when I come into the room, as though she's been on tenterhooks waiting for me for hours. It sets my teeth on edge. I have got a bit crisp about it sometimes, and pointed out that if she wants something specific she should press her call button, or else make an effort not to sound narky about being kept waiting. But actually I'm not sure she means anything at all by it.
The other one that gets on my nerves - I agree - is the assumption that I've been skipping off on a gay whirl of recreational shopping whenever I've left the house. I have literally come back holding her prescription bag and been asked "did you get everything you wanted?"
The thing is, though, I don't think they've changed their attitude. I think we might be getting allergic to it?!
My Mom does this but unfortunately it's difficult for her to do much, she's in a wheelchair and has a lot of pain. Her mood as actually improved now that she cuts up the meat for the blind guy at her assisted living home. She says she has to go to dinner "because H needs me".
I got up, walked away and when she couldn't see me I flashed her my middle finger! I feel better already!
See All Answers