By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
If the choice is a terminal illness causing progressively complex and painful symptoms, some perception, however altered, that a life that was known and enjoyed is no longer to be, OR a simplified and edited presentation of some familiar facts, no cruelty or over explanations, and a glimmer, however slight of the possibility of happier things, I’ll encourage my relatives to lie every moment they spend with me.
It’s not at all a lie to tell someone you really CARE ABOUT that you don't know when the doctor will permit her to come home (you DON’T KNOW, DO YOU?).
Ask yourself what you’d want to hear in the same situation, consider what you can say that will enrich and comfort and console her and say that, and don’t worry about anything else.
This is not a black or white issue. Don’t try to make it one.
All that said, you know her best. Better than I do. Better than the caregivers who are not yet familiar with her. I bet you will get mixed messages here as well, and ultimately you will have to decide what you think is best. Sometimes therapeutic fibs are best for a while such as "they will help you here with your balance and we will see how that goes for you."
The thing I don't get is that we always think there is a way to fix things, that we are RESPONSIBLE to fix them. There isn't always a way to fix sad things. And it isn't our fault. Be as kind and gentle as you can be. You are doing your OWN grieving now, are you not? Would you want someone to lie to you?
I am so sad for what you are going through. For what your LO is going through. Of what my bro is going through. Of all the pain and uncertainty and trauma to all of us. Life can be so very hard. Hugs out to you.
What she wants to know is "am I safe" Reassure her that she is safe, you love her.
You can tell her that you can no longer care for her safely and she is here because you want to keep her safe. But she will not understand that, if she does it may not be for long.
Hold her hand, be with her as much as you can.
As she declines the Nursing facility will become her home. As her awareness gets smaller and smaller it will become where she is comfortable.
You might want to talk to the doctor if she is very agitated there are medications for the anxiety that will help but not cause other problems, since she is a fall risk.
For now, just do whatever it takes to help her adjust.
Wishing you good luck and Godspeed, my friend.
Now, if she has Dementia, different story. We told my Mom that she was going to a new apartment and would be making new friends. My Mom was in the later stages, though.
See All Answers