By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Remember if you are the POA or you are the person that steps up in your family. Keep that in mind- important when you think about "dreaded conversations" what you are. Important no matter to be aware and document the event in detail.
These meetings are for sharing information and collaborating to advocate on the behalf of someone that is not able to do it at 100% of their previous level.
No question---This is emotional but still financial elements provide care. If someone is living in his house, bills have to be paid and expecting rent is reasonable, but it requires management. Also insurance--- If no one is in the house more than 3 months, most insurance rate go up significantly as abandoned. So, we go to Dad's house to stay and keep things taken care of enough to make sure we keep things good until we can settle the estate per the court.
Has he seen any of his doctors recently? What are their opinions on his abilities? While it requires a court to determine need for Guardianship, it would help give you an idea. What is the concensus of the siblings? This is what your meeting should be about-finding out what everyone is thinking and their ideas.
Have an outline of things you would like to cover and ask or talk about. You can open by saying that you wanted to bring everyone up to speed with what the attorney told you. If personalities are historically problematic, think this through before. This where making a script helps and keep in mind this is going to be a management situation, not a decision and done. The focus is on making decisions which are providing advocacy for your Father's care and funding this care. Most people don't have a clue how much it costs to have someone in memory care-$4500-$6000 private pay.
Best wishes
So options presented were to buy dad's property out one of us and take care of him in his home, put the home on the market and use the funds for his care, or to buy each other out, etc.
Even more confused but will attempt the dreaded conversation. Why could we all not be rich? Sigh.
POAs can be fired by the person that asked you to be one if they are influenced while they are exhibiting symptoms of dementia. Many people have paranoid delusions especially about money and theft, so it is easy and those that they live with all the time have easy access to influence. Guardianship and conservatorship are the only answers. We had to take that course and lucky found out at the right time then he fired me after I found an attorney. The situation can also be necessary within a family with dynamics that are not working in the best direction for the impaired individual. OR they are both impaired and think they aren't- like ours also.
Says it is because he is on SSI and Medicaid instead of SSD and Medicaid. Says that the sister can remain in the home only if he (I forgot how she worded this statement) signs over the property to the sibling that still lives in the home.
She also went on to say between the two people who questioned him to get permission to speak to me over the course of a week feels he is still competent enough for now that he does not require representative payee. Still will need to see if the attorney feels the same way.
So if the sibling that still lives there does not want him back in his own home, it seems no other choice but the nursing home. I don't know if he can be declared incompetent right now, has been doing pretty good if he would just go to sleep at night (sigh). So guardianship may be the only way to get him in his own or to keep as we are going but the courts may not find him incompetent.
Totally confusing laws and rules.
My aunt can't remember my sister 's friend's /attorney name and no one else in the family know who it is. So, yes for you to add on to your house "for your dad" is most certainly benefitting you because your home will increase in value as my sisters has!! Once your dad is gone, you also could rent out that area of the home for added income. Think of another way to help your dad live his best life possible with his money!! It's his money, not yours!!!
however, not sure where the tone (seems like there is one) is coming from with the, "no difference your sacrifice of pocket office. I didn't considered it as a sacrifice, I considered it helping dad until things can be figured out. If no tone, apologize in advance for the misunderstanding.
I'll tell you the truth, I wish I had conservatorship/guardianship over my father instead of just POA. I can't tell you how many hours were spent on the phone on hold because a credit card company or bank wouldn't shut down a card or an account because they wouldn't accept my POA documents on their own.
Get the conservatorship/guardianship. If you have to place your father in a care facility at some point, having it will be a lot better for you both. When nursing homes see a conservatorship/guardianship in place they don't pull the underhanded and often illegal financial abuse that they usually will when there isn't one. Conservatorship/guardianship prevents this because the court is involved. A conservator/guardian in my state has to report to the probate court periodically which is a good thing because they keep the thieving of nursing homes in check. Get the conservatorship.
Gladimhere, I don’t understand your statement. “You can’t add into your home. That is use of his funds that would benefit you.” I hear of people adding on a room or a side all the time to care for a loved one. Now how they paid for the addition is another story. So how is it benefitting me if I’m not the one that will be staying in the additional room?
The one he is in now is my pocket office that I gave up to bring him home. The only thing that fits is the semi-electric hospital bed and that's barely. No bedside commode, wheelchair, or recliner.
So if we found a bigger home or another home that would accommodate all comfortable, are you saying that also would benefit me but not him as well?
The three options explored before dad coming out the hospital was a home in our neighborhood, his home, and a nursing home. So the problem with going back to his own home is that the sibling that lives in his home says he can't come back and have a backup that comes to her with any call.
The other option got put aside (home in neighborhood) because I would lose the respite hours and adult daycare if he lives on his own. Medicaid waiver program.
Going into another nursing home that is closer got set aside because they would only allow 20 minute visits and because all his days had got used in the other nursing home so he would just be housed rather than getting some occupational or physical therapy.
I don't see a solution let alone a perfect solution except back to another nursing home even if it means only 20 minute visits.
They can have modifications done to the home as well if it is for the benefit of the person they have conservatorship over.
I know someone who did exactly this. They had an elderly aunt who was a widow and had no kids. She had her niece appointed conservator over her through the probate court.
Then the niece renovated her house on the aunt's money. The place wouldn't have been safe for her if she didn't do this. She also charged her rent and charged for being her caregiver. There was no problems.
The aunt lived there with her niece and the niece's family for three years. Then she became too bad off with dementia and had to be put in a care facility. There was no problems with the court or with Medicaid over the money spent to make the niece's home safe for her aunt to be there.
It can be done. Just make sure you have a lawyer who knows what they're doing."
I don't know about how guardianships work, except they're extremely expensive. The above POAs won't cost anywhere near that.
I am the trustee for my parents' trust (already functioning in that role when both were still living), and that role, along with those durable and medical POAs have been sufficient for me to handle all my mother's affairs (Dad is gone now) without any problems.
If he is not incapicitated the court will not grant guardianship.
Yes, you can. The father himself can have answry appointed to be his conservator/guardian. He will have to have a lawyer for himself and do it in the probate court.
They can have modifications done to the home as well if it is for the benefit of the person they have conservatorship over.
I know someone who did exactly this. They had an elderly aunt who was a widow and had no kids. She had her niece appointed conservator over her through the probate court.
Then the niece renovated her house on the aunt's money. The place wouldn't have been safe for her if she didn't do this. She also charged her rent and charged for being her caregiver. There was no problems.
The aunt lived there with her niece and the niece's family for three years. Then she became too bad off with dementia and had to be put in a care facility. There was no problems with the court or with Medicaid over the money spent to make the niece's home safe for her aunt to be there.
It can be done. Just make sure you have a lawyer who knows what they're doing.