Many with a LO in later stages of dementia know it's dementia, but in earlier stages were you uncertain? And what made you certain?

bailey, my dads doctor told me that smart people can hide lots of dementia. It was true for my dad and in the beginning made it hard to know what was going on.

I paid attention to his ability to get through the day and normal conversation. My dad would tell you something that was completely accurate but, he was using the wrong technical words, that was the 1st indication that something was off.

I think we can tell something is not quite right in the early stages but, I don't think we can ever be certain before a certain point in progression.

I have to say, if we talk about something that means nothing to me, I might not remember the conversation in 10 minutes either. I have always had this type of memory, I don't store useless or needless information, I have too much that I do need to remember to use brain cells on chatter.

Has your dad had a good physical lately? This could be a symptom of easily treated issues. If he hasn't had one recently, it's time to get those baselines in writing.

My mother had ONE MoCA mini cognitive exam in the hospital, at my request, in 2016, b/c I suspected she was suffering from dementia. She scored an 18 on the exam and was diagnosed with 'progressive dementia' based entirely upon that score. She failed the clock test; she was only able to draw a blob, not the face of a clock showing 3 pm at all. Which showed her executive brain function was greatly impaired.

The doctors told me she would progressively worsen with her dementia symptoms as time went on, and that she had about a 5 year life span. They were 100% correct on all fronts. She died just short of her 6th year after being diagnosed. She continued to decline, like clockwork, in step-down sequences, after her original diagnosis in 2016. She was able to live in regular Assisted Living until 2019 at which time she needed too much help with too many activities of daily life (ADLs) and had to segue into Memory Care Assisted Living. That turned out to be the right call, too.

At the time I suspected her dementia, she was introducing me (her daughter) as her 'mother'. Other than that, she was forgetting to take her pills, and forgetting things in general, but otherwise pretty functional. There were signs, however, that she was declining mentally, and I saw those signs in living color, as her daughter who knew her best after 60-something years.

Many people have a vision in their mind that in order for a person to be diagnosed with 'dementia' and in order for it to be a REAL diagnosis, the elder has to be drooling and incoherent, unable to move or feed himself or talk in general. Which is very far from the truth. Dementia presents itself differently for different people, and progresses differently as well. While the elder may morph into that at the end of their lives, they surely do not begin their dementia journey in that shape or state of mind!

We can deny a diagnosis for an elder, or we can accept it and deal with that diagnosis accordingly. Denying our loved one's situation is not going to change it or reverse the damage that has already occurred. So we're best off dealing with what's really going on so we're prepared for the decline as it occurs & not caught off guard.

But that's up to each person individually. I would rather know what I'm up against than be gob-smacked with it one day when I least expect it. Or when my loved one wandered off one day and got lost b/c he had no idea where he was.

You may want to learn all you can about the condition so you'll know what to look for and what to expect with your father, and so you'll know whether or not he's SAFE living alone at home. Having the ability to buy one's own clothing is not indicative of being dementia-free. The score on the MoCA or SLUMS test is a lot more indicative of an elder's dementia status than anything else.

Here is an article from Alz.org about the 10 warning signs of dementia/Alzheimer's:

https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/do-i-have-dementia/10-warning-signs-dementia

Your father may not exhibit all these signs, or he may........everyone is different. But I'd rely on what the test scores are telling you and proceed accordingly. Never, ever assume an elder with dementia is 'safe' b/c they appear to be 'with it' enough to fool you. "Showtiming" is a skill they can hone whereby they make you THINK they're fine when they're not. They can make small talk & convince you they're A-ok, when the reality is oftentimes another matter entirely.

In most cases, it is hard because the changes are gradual and easily written off by family and providers. Our geriatrician does an annual assessment and diagnosed my husband with mild cognitive impairment on our first visit six years ago. It helped me acknowledge symptoms I had been dismissing and as well as new symptoms... while keeping an open mind that some issues still may be simply aging. Many people can function quite well with dementia for a good while so if I were you I would read all I can on the subject because some of the signs are very subtle and if continually missed can lead to dangerous situations (think driving, cooking, wandering, etc.). Because of my husband having Parkinson's related dementia, I asked to be tested by his neuro-psychologist after becoming concerned for myself. I wanted our sons to have a heads up if I were moving that direction because then they would have two of us to care for. Fortunately, after extensive testing, she said my memory issues were stress and anxiety related due to being a 24/7 caregiver and was not typical of dementia but she couldn't say I would never have it.

Memory loss is the first sign of Dementia. I get the impression that sister is closer to the situation than you are. Dementia is very subtle in the beginning.

My Mom became acting president of a group at Church. She told me she had everything in order for the meeting. When we got to the meeting, she had a hard time finding what she needed and was confused. A Nurse in the group told me she thought Mom was showing signs of Dementia. She had taken notice when around Mom. It went from that to forgetting how to use a remote and her cordless phone. Then leaving a pan on the stove and forgetting it.

I think the best time to look for Dementia is in late afternoon early evening. This is when they "sundown". They will tend to get more confused and sometimes act out.

When we spent more time with my MIL, saw condition of her home, the food rotting in her fridge, the pill bottles opened and pills scattered on the kitchen table, the unopened bills, the overdrafts in her checking account, the multiple dozens of boxes of checks she ordered because she couldn't remember where she put them... yet when we spoke to her only over the phone she seemed "fine". We asked her the usual vague questions ("How are you doing? What's up?") she'd give us perfectly unsuspicious answers ("I'm ok, not doing much..." etc). The social workere called this Apparent Competency. In the exam she could not answer current and specific questions, like who is the President, what season are we in, what's your phone number). Eventually she forgot how to use the microwave and didn't think to tell us. She wasn't eating because she thought she had. At that point she was best off in AL.

Hopefully someone is your LOs PoA. This person needs to go to their resident to lay eyes on what's actually going on.

"My sister says he has forgotten what was discussed in about 10minute... That's just memory loss.."

I agree with the first replier, SamTheManager - spending extended time may make things clearer. Minor things may not spell the end of living alone just yet.
But keep your eyes open - notice things.

Things can be ok until they aren't.

Until a pot is left on the stove to burn dry or catch fire.

Until medication gets taken incorrectly - not sure if taken so re-taken is common.

Look in the cupboards. Look out for rotting fresh food & items over useby dates.
Meals? Eating what he prepares, reheats? Or having toast or crackers for dinner every night?

Discuss with your sister. Two sets of eyes are better than one!

My mom was "fine' living by herself in the early stages of Mild Cognitive Impaitmrnt, except she wasn't. She was calling us constantly in a panic. She couldn't prioritize or plan things. She couldn't REASON.

Example. I took her shopping. She needed cream for something itchy. She would have told you years earlier to use cortisone cream.

We get to Bed Bath and Beyond. We look at cortisone creams. She points to Gold Bond. I take it down, read it. No cortisone. I point this out. She says "But it SAYS "anti-itch cream".

I try to explain to her that it's the INGREDIENTS that matter. She doesn't understand.

I go home and cry because I realize my mom's brain has changed.

AND yes, she could still discuss the news.

His favorite activity is watching news almost 24hrs a day and his favorite activity is having someone watch the news show with him so we can talk about news article together. My sister says he has forgotten what was discussed in about 10minute... That's just memory loss that not dimentia.. dimentia memory loss and inability to procees information