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Your mother will fight this move, but most people do. If you can stay close, stay calm and let her know that she will have people around her and things to do, once she adjusts, it may help some.
Expect some anger and even depression. But this seems like one occasion where there isn't much that can be done but go along with the doctor. At least you can use the doctor as a third party, and that helps take some of the "blame" off of you. Does she have a pastor, priest or Rabbi that she trusts, or a good friend? Maybe they can help smooth the way.
Keep us posted on how you do. This is hard and we are thinking of you.
Carol
One of the best ways to help your Mom to see the benefits of a move is to allow her to see what she is moving to. Many communities will allow short stays for prospective residents (and others). If your chosen community allows this, it can be a great way to introduce your Mom to the new environment, while still letting her "come home again" before making the move permanent. A week or so is a good length of time for a short stay. Perhaps you can do this if you will be away for a vacation of your own or have a business trip planned. I've actually heard of aging parents who decide not to return to their former residence once they've tried out their new community!
Another possibility is to engage your Mom in the process of choosing what furniture, household items, and personal treasures to take to her new home. One of the hardest things for your Mom is parting with all of those things he or she has accumulated over a lifetime, and moving to a retirement community usually means downsizing and parting with some of those things. Perhaps there is a favorite chair or dresser that will make the new space feel more like home and help your Mom get over having to get rid of the rest. Maybe some special window treatments or new bedding can be made for the new space that will make it feel fresh. Hanging favorite photos or art on the walls and making sure the place is all set up for your Mom will help to make the whole move less overwhelming. If you are good at imagining an empty room as a home and have the time and energy to set up the new space, then by all means you should take this project on yourself. If not, you might consider engaging a senior move manager who can coordinate the entire project.
Good luck with this! It's never easy.
Sheri
does not understand how I feel about losing my mom after ten years of caring for her and making sure every thing went ok. I know she is at piece now, but I can not find any piece of mind. listing to everyone yelling at me. now he wants both his parents to live with us, he drinks, they don't speak english only spanish so good by. thank you all for your kind advice. He won't listen to how hard it is, they are both old and there is nothing in writing with any kind of legal paper work to support him.