By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I can appreciate your struggle. You care deeply and you want to do the right thing. I know its not an easy decision. Even if we weight all the pros and cons, we women in general still struggle with the guilt.
Take a step back. Look at your decision as clearly as possible. Please consider your own resources and your own well being. I know you only want your mom to be safe and secure and well looked after. If you can access additional resources to keep her at home then do so. If it becomes too much, look for a good place that fits her. Visit her. Continue to help her, but also know you are doing the best you can.
Taking care of elderly parents is an emotional rollercoaster. For myself, I always said I would keep my dad at home. But I don't think I knew what I was getting myself into. I didn't know how I would feel as the years went on. He did stay home till he died in hospital. But I am angry at myself. Because towards the end I don't know if that was right for him. I feel like I let the anger and resentment affect my care and compassion. My whole life I wanted to do the right thing. But in the end, I don't know if I did. So I hope you can find the right balance.
Seniors who have dementia are particularly at risk, because they are subject to so much potential harm. I would no more leave my parent who has dementia in their home alone, than I would a small child. Have you considered how scared, confused and disoriented dementia renders a person? Living in their home may not be the experience you have in your mind any longer. If the parent were thinking clearly, they would thank you and be relieved that you stepped up to the plate to arrange for their care.
Nothing felt so good to me as when I finally had my LO settled into AL for the first day. I couldn't have been prouder, because I did the right thing. I wonder if you would keep seeing your therapist and focus on what's best for mom, you might gain some clarity. I do hope you can find some peace.
If you're not sure, on the other hand, that your plan to place your mother in an NH *is* the best option for her, then that's a subtly different issue. But all the same don't agonise over it - do yourself a list of pros and cons, give each side a score, and there's your answer. You just have to remember that sometimes in life none of the options is very attractive.
I think the same applies if you find yourself caring for your elderly parent.
My mother's infirmities and declining mental and physical health have robbed her of her independence. I didn't do that. I have to work to pay my mortgage, feed my family and contribute what I can to society.
She is well cared for in a nursing home, and none of our family feels any guilt.
Why are you seeing a lawyer? Are you trying to become her guardian because she is incompetent? If she needs you to, it is the best thing to become her guardian.
Is she incompetent and her doctors have diagnosed her as such.
What is behind your feeling of being duplicitous, false and like a liar? Did you make some kind of promise to her years ago when both of you were younger and healthier that it not realistic now? You are an adult and on the basis of current evidence about her care needs and what you can do realistically, you can change your mind about that promise!