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If you are like me your Dad will always be with you in your heart. I am so sorry Xena, but the only way out of grief is right through it. I think only time helps.
You will feel "lost" for a while, as you say. It is a shock. It is something you can't imagine until you are IN it. Your tears are the price of so much love. Just remember also the joy.
Of course you are lost and heartbroken.
There is a song I have been hearing lately.
How Do I say Goodbye.
In part it says:
So how do I say goodbye
To someone who's been with me for my whole damn life?
You gave me my name and the color of your eyes
I see your face when I look at mine
So how do I, how do I, how do I say goodbye?
the song is by Dean Lewis.
Give it a listen. (I just watched the video😭)
The heartbreak will slowly feel better.
the ache will remain sharp at times but dull over time just as wounds are supposed to heal.
Your daddy was wise in his decision. It's still a shock even when it's expected, but now he's at peace and there is nothing more to fear for him.
I'm not sure you're supposed to be able to handle the grief, not at first. Wishing you comfort.
Between the loss of your FIL and your mom's cancer dx, you've just had too much thrown at you recently.
Be very kind to yourself and seek out support where you can.
Blessings and peace to you.
Everyone grieves in their own way. Your dad just died today, so you need time to process it. Take time to grieve. Don’t suppress your emotions.
You are missing your dad. You know that you will never see him or be able to speak to him again. Your feelings are normal.
Some people don’t feel like it’s real and it takes a while before it sinks in.
Others find comfort that they are no longer suffering and they feel relief.
Some people are angry and they feel that the death could have been prevented somehow.
I don’t know exactly what you are dealing with at the moment. I wish you peace as you continue on with your grieving journey.
How old was your father. Is your mom still living?
In time you will remember the good times that you had with him and be more at peace.