By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
I would take over her finances. You don't need to get her to believe that she really can't do it anymore but that you just want to help her. My mom would get really stressed about doing any of her financial stuff after dad dies so I just took it over, for both of our sakes. I hope you have POA.
Allow your mom to continue her fantasy. Doesn't hurt anything. But the medical professionals need to know the truth. Sometimes I teasingly ask my mom if she really did those things, but 99% of the time just nod, smile and say/think "whatever" . Cuz it just doe not really matter.
So expect her to say crazy things that don't match with reality. That's dementia or at least one facet of it. Expect the unexpected. I used to write things down when I was trying to get her diagnosed and get my POA activated so I would have examples of her biggest issues.
Does she still live by herself? If so, those days are likely numbered. They can lose the ability to stay safe. My mom would decide to out of the blue, heat up some soup on the stove after 5 years of not touching the stove. OK, we put child proof locks on the stove handles. Tried to defrost some frozen snacks in the toaster oven? Moved it to the barn.
It's a roller coaster. Sometimes, they still say things that are true and accurate. Other times it leads you to scratch your head thinking "whaaaat????". But just say something vague "oh really" or "interesting" type of thing. You'll never get her to believe that what she says is wrong so don't waste your time.
Best of luck.
She is probably frightened and not quite sure why.
She probably has not “……lied to (doctor) about stuff”. If the doctor was able to develop a diagnosis on what she said to him, he was interpreting what she said in the context of her age and what he knows about her.
She needs your help. Hopefully you can begin to develop a care plan for her to implement as her needs increase. It is difficult and painful to realize that your parent will be needing more support as her needs increase, but there is useful information here and also to be found in your community.
To get her back to the doc for a cognitive exam you will need to tell her a therapeutic fib (Medicare gives a free exam and it's required so that you can continue to get coverage) or whatever story you think will work. Go with her and have a pre-written not for the doc/staff telling them you are suspecting memory and cognitivee problems. Request to be in the exam room with her and sit behind her but so the doc can see you. When doc asks questions you can nod yes or no if her answers are inaccurate. Before you leave ask for the HIPAA Medical Representative form and have your Mom write in your name. This will allow her medical team to share her protected info with you without her having to be present. Also, set up her online medical portal access and this way you can see her results and make appointments for her online.
If no one is her PoA... then things will be more challenging since she will still be in charge of her own decisions, dementia or not. Then you may have to pursue guardianship through the courts, or report her to APS and the county will pursue guardianship.