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Everytime I read a post like this I think "no visits in the morning!". I had PT wanting to come at 8am. Mom didn't get up till 8am and I was not waking her before then because she would be confused. I told them was not a good time because I had to get her up, dressed and breakfast. Mornings are always the busiest when Caregiving, I think.
I am with Burnt. You have a schedule that YOU need to stick to to make it all work. They visit when it convenient to you. Not to call ahead is really kind of rude.
Tell people to call first. Then you decide if it's a good time to visit.
If it's okay for guests to being treats encourage them to by letting them know they can.
I know how hard it can be to have to look after an elderly person with dementia and how every second of their daily routine has to be structured. I did this as work for 25 years. I got to the point where I simply stopped humoring people. Nurses and social workers who showed up unannounced and without scheduling a time were left at the door. Friends and family who decided to just 'pop in' were often left on the porch or in a part of the house which in some places became the waiting room. I had work to get done and I wasn't going to make my job harder on myself by throwing off a client's schedule.
It's like with a baby. Are visitors allowed to wake the baby up when they're asleep? Or start playing with him when he's in the middle of a feeding?
No, they are not because then the baby gets thrown off schedule and becomes cranky and fussy.
Same thing with elderly people. Especially ones with dementia.