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Aides had 2 shifts off a week, these were covered by family. I'm not sure how sick leave or holidays were handled.
The client, let's call her Madam, was very anxious & had demanded for years to have only her daughter help. Daughter had to seek much therapy to free herself from that slavedom first. Madam finally accepted a home aide *as her choice* as prefered over moving into a residential care home/NH. Madam originally demanded only ONE aide. Again, this was slavedom & so 2 were employed.
As others have pointed out, even if the aide lives in, they could not actually be on-duty 24hrs as this would not be ethical or legal. They are human - require sleep & downtime.
In the case I mentioned, both aides did their shift but slept & had their downtime elsewhere. (They may have even shared a flat).
It wasn't perfect, but, it was preferable to a NH. The family took Madam's wishes into consideration but accepted these must fit within the legal/ethical/practical boundaries of society we live in too.
I think in many families there is a reluctance to having non-family help. I believe it often stems from fear & pride. The desire is for maximum control (to reduce fear). Also pride, that family are a 'good' family. But eventually aides are needed, get introduced, become trusted & then highly valued & cherished. Seen it time & time again.
I have also seen lack of insight, especially with individuals unable to recognise their own needs (anosognosia). This can be due to many factors.
I have seen denial too.
JanIneed, I am sorry you have not found much advice helpful to your situation. Yes some folk do hold strong opinions. Text is just black & white letters - it can be interpreted incorrectly, cultural, language, other factors misunderstood.
I wish you the best for finding solutions to your situation.
1. Why is Mom getting up? Is she hungry? Wet? Confused? Purchase the most absorbent overnight diapers on the market to last her all night. parentgiving.com
2. Try installing bed rails, not a bed alarm. Alarms are startling for the patient and that can cause them to panic and fall. I added bed rails to Dad's regular bed and it did prevent him from roaming and falling. Check out Amazon or a local medical supply company.
3. The healthcare aide doesn't necessarily have an attitude, perhaps she's being realistic. She also needs rest in order to best serve your mother.
This is a stressful time for both you and your mom. Reset your expectations and look for alternate solutions. Try a few things. Ask the aide what she might suggest.
Too much stress here. Instead of helping some of you are going off the beaten track. I'm not going to post on here anymore and I see from others I'm not the first to feel this way. Some of you are really hard core and obviously you not reading my post correctly. Thank for the advice, no thanks for the trying to play lawyer And instill fear when you dont know all the facts stick to the subject at hand. Ciao
IRS consider aides emloyees not self-employed. You need to be taking out taxes and sending the deductions to the right agency. She should be paid anything over 40 hrs. She needs time off. I so hope you are doing everything correctly because if Mom every needs Medicaid they will question large amts coming out of Moms bank acct. You need to prove that it was used to pay a caregiver.
You cannot work someone 24/7, its slavery. If paying under the table, your aide is defrauding the government by not paying taxes. Check with your Labor dept on the laws concerning aides.
Mom’s choice making options stopped when she started falling out of bed.
EVERYONE is the child of “the world’s most difficult mother”, but believe it or not, once you’ve reached the point that you convince yourself that YOUR only concerns really are her safety and your sanity, your life becomes simpler.
If your mom needs aideS, she needs aideS. If she cannot accept her need for extra coverage, you must give up your FEAR of what she will to do you if you create a safer environment for her to live in, and decide her safety needs BY YOURSELF.
Before you make a ruckus with caregiver you had better check those things out as she could go to the DOL and file a complaint for unfair labor practices. Then you will have a whole new legal mess on your hands.
Mom only wants one caregiver? Does mom want a law suit on her hands? If only this was a perfect world. Time for mom to visit with an elder law attorney to find out what can be done legally!
Can you have a come to Allah meeting with the Aide?
If it can't be worked out, you'll have to look for one that will help your mom at night.
One aide there 24/7 is also a bad idea for landlord reasons. If you're choosing to live somewhere else 24/7, it means you don't have a place to live.
I would nip this in the bud right now. Hire a second person who will be there nights only to attend. It's up to Aide to use her earnings to find a place to live versus Aide thinking this is her home in any way. It is her place of employment.
You can get a cover for mom's bed that is composed of bolster pillows that will prevent her from falling out of bed. Go to Amazon and search for one. This aid will have to put her into a Depends before going to sleep, then wake her up at 2 am to change her or take her to the toilet, then they can both get back to sleep. If the aid is unwilling to keep mom dry during the night, then you'll need to find another aid. But anyone working overnight will expect to sleep. A good reason to hire 2 different caregivers working two different shifts.
Good luck!
the aid that my mom is up so she can help her.
we hired her to care for my mom and she wants the double shift for now and she has a home to live in she's not homeless