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I am here 24/7 365. I need help, I need to get away. I'm tired and exhausted, every once and a while I need to get away or ill go cray cray. I always inform my ex that ill be going out to see my friends and have a beer nothing nefarious. She knows (my ex) I have to Get Out from time to time, and I have explained that to the point she knows I need a break. Yes, I know I could use that time to rest but I need that time out with my friends to forget my ever present intellectual stress.
The Daughter, disagrees with my getting out, as that forces her into action. However I always inform them I will be gone for a few hrs.
It is the right thing to do, I always tell them approx. how long I will be gone, and when they can expect me to return.
"Im going to play pool, or drink a beer or two" its that simple. I've nothing to hide.
The one the elders lean on, needs a a break, but if that person insists on doing it all, and never getting a break, it’s so frustrating. Thank you for wanting your breaks, and understanding you need them. While I love my dad’s devotion, I miss him. I wish he could just enjoy a half day road trip, see the lake, drop a fishing line, but he can’t, and I accept it. Don’t discuss it at length, with your wife, brevity is best, follow the good advice you’ve been given, get a break, and take care of you, too.
😂😂
”I’m not going anywhere, just to the John”
”It’s time to walk the dog.”
”Need to get something in the garage.”
Etc.
Hard fact, but she is going to be OK, but you need to be OK as well, it is important or perhaps even more important.
The reason I suggest this is that asking my mom a question takes all of her energy to figure out what I have asked and what her answer will be. It really throws her for a loop and she can't answer the question and continue on whatever rant or auto-repeat she may be on.
Hopefully this strategy will work for your wife as well. You need a break so don't even consider not going out. Even if you just drive around or sit in a park or go for a cup of coffee...take the time for yourself.
Take care.