By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
When my brother & I had to move our stepmother from AL to MC, we were second guessing ourselves, maybe we could have waited a little longer and so on.
Well, after it all shook down, we made the right decision for her, not us, her.
Take a deep breathe, feed yourself positives, you are doing what needs to be done...for him.
By the way, I came to my court date prepared with a legal-sized cardboard box FULL of evidence. The whole hearing took five minutes. There was no debate. There were no questions (beyond a couple of procedural quesitons). The judge looked at what the attorney ad litum had recommended about my mother (she was clearly not of a sound mind), looked at what two doctors had said about the dementia, and that was all the evidence she needed. The hearing was actually the easy part. It was what came next (the search for housing, dealing with social security, mom's behavioral problems when we got her into housing) that were the hard part.
One thing that helped me was a mantra to myself that I wasn't going to do anything that would 1) get ME in trouble with the law, 2) affect my marriage, 3) affect my health. I referred back to that mantra whenever I had doubts about something. It helped alleviate any guilt I was feeling about not doing enough, or not doing what certain relatives wanted me to do. Was it something that was going to affect my health/marriage/clean legal record? Then nope, I'm doing the best I can, and the person making demands of me could get back in line.
I also carved out time to do the things that brought me happiness (whether that was a walk in the park or a quick overnight trip or a nice dinner date). When I'd get too stressed out, I would imagine that I only have two years left to live—did I want to spend my last months being this stressed out over a person who had never done that much for me? That helped.
What else helped was finding ways to organize tasks for myself. Whenever things start to get so overwhelming that you just get paralyzed with indecision, try a new way of breaking tasks down and organizing it all. Everyone's different so find what works for you, whether that's a cork board covered with index cards, daily and weekly lists, software for organization, accountability partners, whatever clicks with you.
Hang in there.
This has been so stressful. The most stressful time of my life.
And yes, I have been preparing so much of what I consider evidence. It will be nice if I don’t have to present all of that.
This has consumed for the past couple of months. It’s been hard to focus on things and have any energy to take time for myself. What a big life lesson this is for me.
You say this man wasn't really a responsible father to you. He is now managing his own ADLS. You may not win this guardianship after he fights you in court, because the courts are loathe to take a citizen's rights from him. But if you DO win, I hope you have steps to take in your own mind. Because the word "guardianship" means nothing to him, and often not a whole lot to banks and SS and IRS and everyone else. You will be so busy filing papers and keeping files that you will be inundated. And all that beCAUSE? Because what?
I guess I will chalk this up to you are a MUCH better person than I am (as are so many others) but I personally would never have considered doing this for two seconds.
I sure wish you luck, Windy. I hope you will keep us updated as you move along. It will be an education in itself, this dealing with application for guardianship, and you will be our new expert in giving advice on how it is done, what it costs, and what the results are. My best out to you. Keeping you in my thoughts.
We have named the Department of Aging in the petition. We are asking the State to take guardianship of him.
I guess I could’ve walked away from all of this but it just didn’t set right with me. I knew he would end up in a horrible situation and I would be guilted in to coming to the rescue. I did not want that.
Yes, he is able to complete hygiene tasks, dress himself, eat, and walk.
He’s been evaluated 2 times in the past month.
He scored a 1 out of 5 on the mini cog test.
In the past 2 months, he has OD on meds twice, called 911 7 times for non emergency issues, last week he was in the ER bed and called the police because they didn’t give him anything to eat. He thinks his neighbor is breaking in his apartment and poisoning him so he throws away all of his food almost daily and god knows what else he is doing.
I pray the judge sees what is going on and makes the best decision.