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My mother tested positive for Covid on the day her memory care was getting their vaccinations, so she couldn’t get vaxxed. She was straight out of the hospital and had heart failure, but she sailed right through Covid with little effect. She was 92, and lived another seven months. She was also on hospice when she had Covid.
Frankly, Covid and how you do if you get it is in your own hands now. Not enough people got vaccinated to ensure herd immunity, so if you don’t want Dad to get deathly ill, be sure he’s vaxxed and boosted. If he doesn’t already have serious respiratory issues and tends to recover from colds, he should be fine in assisted living.
Your brother is wise to get him settled somewhere before a crisis leads to the need for a sudden change in living circumstances.
To which I say, AMEN.
There are many other things that figure into whether a senior goes into LTC. Covid is, quite honestly, the least of it all. A senior at home without enough care is in much more danger than a vaccinated senior in care, and exposed to Covid. MUCH more.
The Al that brother is thinking of might not even take unvaccinated people. The nice ones here do not because every single family is telling them that they only want their lo among the vaccinated.
This is true for kids going to school, taking a cruise, moving to Facility Living (includes IL, AL, MC and SNF)
You can also run the risk of picking up illness from Caregivers that come into the house particularly if they are working in other homes or facilities. And every time you go out to the store, movies, dinner you run the risk as well.
The more immune compromised a person is the more likely they will pick something up. Much of that is from not being exposed to the greater number of pathogens and it takes a bit of time to build a resistance up. However if you are very ill it is possible that getting sick while building resistance can kill you.
But if you are considering a move because of safety or you can no longer care for him safely then it is a risk worth taking. Unless you can get caregivers that will come in and care for him. That would limit but not eliminate the exposure.
I'm curious what precipitated that hospitalization or ED visit and if in some way it pushed your brother to consider facility care for dad.
Did you attend dad during that emergency? Did you hear what the medical professionals had to say about dad's current situation?
If hearing that dad is in the ED causes you physical symptoms that are serious, it might suggest that you are not the best person to be managing your father's care.
I really do understand that the pushback that you are getting here is upsetting. You want your opinion validated.
As much as we like to tell folks that they are justified in their anger, we need to tell folks the truth as it appears to us, based on our collective experience.
It's kind of my opinion with yet another variant on the way that we will ALL get exposed and we will likely ALL get it. We have to make our choices given the information available and how we compute/decide its validity, what we want to do for our individual selves. For me that is to mask up in public places, to be fully vaccinated, and to hope (given my age of 80) that if I get it it is a more mild case.
I wouldn't that much DYING of covid. I am a DNR and would get the GOOD drugs to usher me happily out. But I would mind living with the clotting issues from long covid and I now know two people who have some s/p Covid.
So Dad is perhaps safer at home. The thing is, can the care be given without a lot of others coming and going, and is there someone willing and able to continue to give the care. If the thought is to move Dad to care I think there must be some issues other than covid on the plate??
The reason for dad's move has to do with my brother's belief that he will have more socializarion, things to do and care if and when he needs it eventually.
I'm not against the idea. I just want some input as to how it relates to covid. It appears in the UK their strategy is to proect the vulnerable. My father is vunerable as to his age.
Also, you do your brother a great disservice & minimize his effort by saying he's "taking "light care" of dad for about 5 years." FIVE YEARS is a long, long time to devote to the care and management of an elder, in ANY capacity whatsoever. Period. Give credit where credit is due, not to mention the credit he deserves for financing dad's luxurious lifestyle. And yes, 'cognitive impairment' a/k/a dementia does not improve, it worsens with time and age, to the point where residential care is often required.
FYI my 87-yr old MIL is in LTC and survived a bout of original covid in May 2020 because she had no other health issues (just memory issues, mild dementia and chronic back pain). She recovered 100%. Since everyone there is now vaxxed and boosted, there has still been employees who have tested positive yet no residents have died from covid or needed hospitalization. We visit her all the time unmasked, eating with her in her room. And her son (my husband) is not vaccinated and has not had covid that we know of.
Each variant of covid is more contagious but far less deadly. Omicron is like getting a cold. The most recent variant (B-something) will be even less impactful. The only covid number you need to ever worry about is the death rate, not the infection rate. In the past 4 months I've known 3 people who died from covid -- all were unvaccinated AND had 1 or more of the underlying health issues I mentioned above. They were all younger than 70.
And just like the flu COVID is not going away anytime soon.
Dad's best defense is a strong immune system.
Have you asked dad if he wants to move into assisted living?
Keeping the elderly isolated because you are afraid they will catch COVID is far worse in my opinion.
It's been 2 years people need to start living again and not living in fear because the reality is vaxxed or uvaxxed people can still get COVID and die from it.
Does he live in an area where most people are vaccinated and boosted?
What are the policies of the facility in question?
In general, living alone is not good for older, frail seniors; congregate settings offer more diverse experiences and more eyes on the senior's health.